Take brunch on 15th, and after you’re sufficiently buzzed, walk to 16th, take a left, and enjoy the mansions. It’s like Kevin Mcallister land over there, so it’s just nice…

Not getting enough exercise/fresh air during the day, as you are making steady progress on transforming into a barnacle attached somewhere between your bed and your laptop.

Even when I was less sore than the body sleeping next to me I was always tired, more hungry, more lost, more alone; I could only ever feel the feelings…

Not having a bedtime, curfew, or authority figure who arbitrarily decides if you are allowed to go out this weekend.

You hate every piece of clothing you own but you avoid going shopping because you can’t bring yourself to buy things in a bigger size.

You need to pretend that you know what you’re doing until you actually do. The only way anyone learns anything is by pretending that they knew how to do it…

Grabbing things with your toes and transferring them to your hands instead of bending down to pick them up.

You don’t give a monkey what people think about your tastes. You have no idea what the hot new bands are and you just don’t care.

The sodomy was clinical in nature, and thus concede to using the word with liberty.

When you tell somebody that they “look good today,” it’s important to realize that the more astonished you appear, the less of a compliment it becomes.

Let’s talk about life here for a second. Spoiler alert: tons of people are going to have more money than you.