Shahida Arabi

Recognize that when an INFJ has called you out, it’s not because they don’t care for you or love you. In fact, it’s usually because they care enough and are invested in the relationship to try to make it work. Rather than shutting down or criticizing them for expressing their needs, it’s best to find a common ground and validate their emotions.

You might hear repeated requests from your loved ones to stop drinking so much coffee. You’re told that you need to cut down so you can get a good night’s rest. In response, you have plenty of excuses ready at hand to rationalize the hell out of your addiction – including a binder full of research filled with the reported benefits of caffeine consumption.

Strangely, pleasure and pain make love a more intense and “rewarding” experience for the brain than stable, consistent romance.

Every victim of assault or rape has acted in ways that do not align with the image of the “perfect victim.” Yet this is often irrelevant when it comes to rape – a crime in which the focus of interrogation should be the perpetrator, but is usually the victim.

“The most difficult aspect of co-parenting is the belief that it’s actually possible to co-parent with the narcissist. Co-parenting means you both are committed to raising the child with the child’s best interest at heart. The narcissist does not have the child’s best interest at heart, regardless of how hard he (or she) tries to portray himself as the perfect parent.”

Love-bombing – the excessive praise and flattery a predatory partner showers on their prey – might as well be crack cocaine. It is a common manipulation tactic used by cults to control their members – and in a relationship with a narcissist, you become a one-man cult.

The female malignant narcissist is not just vain and self-absorbed. She is also a covert bully who ensnares fellow female friends, relationship partners and family members into her toxic web.

Agency, independence and the ability to thrive on your own terms is very threatening to a toxic individual. Toxic people require that their victims be isolated – success, economic empowerment and a solid support network all threaten this, so they feel they have to take back the reins on the parts of your life that grant you a sense of stability and self-actualization.

Online dating is a bit of a hunting ground for narcissists, but perhaps no dating app attracts more narcissists than one focused solely on instant gratification – Tinder.

Do narcissists really suffer from low self-esteem, or does their pathological behavior stem from something deeper and more sinister?

It’s wonderful to embrace each other’s flaws in a relationship, but there’s a difference between tolerating inevitable differences and tolerating toxicity. The former can strengthen an existing bond, while the latter leads to self-destruction.

You’re no longer part of the narcissist’s captive audience, waiting to be “chosen.” You’ve chosen yourself instead.