25 Things I’ll Teach My Future Son

1) Never, ever, ever raise your hand to a woman. Same goes for children.

2) Feeling your feelings is okay. Don’t be afraid to love. Don’t fear emotion, but embrace it with open arms.

3) Refrain from using words like “slut”, “crazy”, or “whore” when describing women.

4) If you choose to buy a drink for a girl at the bar, please know this does not mean she owes you something. This is not an invitation to explore her lady parts later that evening.

5) Bullying someone in school to look macho in front of your friends will be a one-way ticket to your cell phone visiting solitary confinement.

6) As much as us women like to be treated as equals, the occasional act of chivalry is much appreciated.

7) Learn to cook a meal and then learn to cook another. I won’t always be there to make your dinner, and neither will the woman or man you end up with.

8) No means No.

9) Never blame a woman’s emotions on her “time of the month” or any hormone related scenario, even if that is actually the case.

10) If said “time of the month” comment is made (good luck), apologize immediately and remind her she is wonderful. No woman likes to feel like a monster for something she can’t control.

11) Speaking of hormones, condoms are much less expensive than diapers.

12) Real men don’t complain about their problems, they go out and do something to fix them. Real men know that for every finger they point, they have three pointing right back at them.

13) Common courtesy such as simply saying “please” and “thank you” go a very long way. As does offering to help the host of a party clean up after a long night, or helping an elderly woman with her grocery bags.

14) Always leave the appropriate tip for your bill, even if you were less-than-impressed with the service. Everyone is fighting their own battle.

15) No matter your sexual orientation, treat everyone with the respect and honor they deserve as a human being.

16) Respect your sister the way you would want her future boyfriends and eventual husband to respect her.

17) Be ambitious. Be creative. Work hard, and never give up on something you are passionate about.

18) I already know you might give in to peer pressure and experiment with alcohol or drugs. Just know that you can always come home – even if you’re messed up. I’ll hand you your ass in the morning.

19) You don’t know everything, I don’t know everything, your father doesn’t know everything, and your friend Thomas who thinks you should skip school and go to a concert in Detroit doesn’t know everything.

20) Keep yourself clean, showered, and well groomed. Take pride in your appearance, and learn to work an iron like a boss.

21) Don’t just limit your friend group to those who have similar interests. Explore different types of people with the different types of hobbies that come along with them. Learn through others.

22) Never kiss and tell.

23) If a woman tell you she’s “alright”, she’s usually lying. I know the mixed signals can be tough, but work through it and understand she probably just doesn’t know how to start the conversation with you. Hang it there, buddy.

24) Laugh, have fun, live in the now, and remember that tomorrow is never guaranteed.

25) Call me and occasionally send me flowers.