You Should Date The Bad Boy

Here’s the thing. We all want to believe there’s a ‘perfect’ person out there. Someone who will sweep us off our feet. Someone who will stand by us no matter what happens. Someone who will love us unconditionally. And that’s beautiful to believe in; it’s smart to not settle for less. But the bitter truth is that there isn’t a perfect person. And we aren’t perfect ourselves. So we have to stop searching for this dream guy, for this wonderful, amazing, flawless, husband-material type.

Instead of closing ourselves off to opportunities, you should honestly date the bad boy.

You should date the guy who challenges you, who makes you think, who keeps you on your feet, who is going to tell you when you’re dead wrong about something, who’s going to makes you reconsider your strongest perspectives and fight fiercely with you.

You should date someone who doesn’t always toe the line, but instead thinks outside the norm. You should someone who’s made mistakes and learned from them. Someone with an opinion. A backbone. A fearless attitude. Confidence. (And a pinch of cockiness, because that’s just sexy.)

You should date someone who will ignite a fire in you. Make you emotional. Make you excited, challenged, wanting more. You want a relationship that’s physically and mentally stimulating.

The Bad Boy. You know the type. The one who doesn’t always do what he’s supposed to. Who pushed, and still pushes the rules. The one who probably doesn’t run with the ‘good crowd.’ The one who probably still doesn’t have his sh*t completely together (but neither do you right?)

You should date someone who is imperfect, because honestly, life’s too short and you want, you need to feel something.

Bottom line: You want the guy who will live life with you, stand beside you throughout your messy, passionate relationship.

Love isn’t supposed to be this mediocre thing in our lives. We aren’t supposed to love the plain, perfect, and fits-in-this-little-relationship-box type of guy. We’re supposed to date someone that challenges us, makes us fall into that crazy, ridiculous thing called love.

Now I’m not saying you should fall for the person who’s life is spiraling out of control, who doesn’t know up from down, who is abusive or just dead wrong for you. You need to guard yourself and your heart because you are precious. I’m just saying you should fall for the bad boy — imperfect and challenging and stubborn and real.

The Real-life Bad Boy is the one with the difficult past. The one who you don’t bring home to mom after the first date. The one who makes you think, who makes you re-think, and who makes you nervous because for the first time you’re feeling something real, something heart and head-spinning.

Fall for that guy. For the Bad Boy that’s not always going to do what he’s told. (PS: you’re not either, so let’s not act like this is some huge and terrible thing). Fall for the guy you can’t control like a little puppet. Fall for the guy that isn’t going to follow you like a stray kitten, but will make you chase him, then chase you right back.

Fall for the guy that you look at and know is imperfect. From his unshaven face to his stupid college tattoo. From his hands in his pockets to that smug grin on his face. He’s challenging, intriguing, different, passionate, and damn sexy. And that’s the kind of guy who you should fall for — the guy who’s real.
 

Marisa Donnelly is a poet and author of the book, Somewhere on a Highway, available here.