Lorenzo Jensen III

“Consciously drowning. Imagine being totally awake and aware of your faculties, hopelessly stuck underwater, and having to convince yourself to breathe in or pass out.”

“You’d better pray to God that’s bigger than a .38 or I’m gonna beat you to death while I bleed out.”

“Live, laugh, love.” Translation: Worship at my feet or I’ll put your cat in the blender.

“There are no good women left.” Well, then, GTFO this site, then.

“He spiked my drink himself so he could ‘save me’ and show me how caring he was.”

“I say, ‘I’m falling for you.’ She says, ‘I can’t catch you.’”

“Nicest guy, the kind that would give you the shirt off his back.”

“I have never in my life been so scared. Never have I ever thought I was about to be murdered.”

“Avoiding ‘girly’ food and drinks. If eating a crepe threatens your manliness, your masculinity is too fragile!”

“Lots of Dollar Stores, payday loan, and title-loan places.”

“Going to Grandma’s house because there’s nothing to eat at your house.”

“I was not afraid until I saw this thing. Pasty-white, hairless, ugly.”

“At one point, during sex, he talked about wanting to kidnap and rape my niece.”

“My father introduced his girlfriend to us by saying, ‘This is your new mother. You’ll never see your other mother again.’”

“He turned his head to look at me before I heard a gurgle. Then he was gone, just like that.”

“If you’re afraid of the sea, this photo of Tina Watson drowned at the bottom is quite scary.”

“Me and one of my cousins were banging for close to a decade. We’re both dudes.”

“Dad hired a hitman to kill mom.”