As our religions, politicians, and parents tell us, violence is wrong. But as our music, video games, and movies tell us, it also sells. Here are five rappers who crossed that oh-so-blurry line between lighthearted entertainer and brutal murderer.

2. Unless a short person asks you to, please don’t pick him or her up.

Who the hell is Dave Coulier? NO ONE KNOWS THESE THINGS.

You’re tired of consuming junk. You want a sex life that’s organic and locally-sourced and grass-fed. You want boring and predictable sex at 9:30pm before bed. A chore that’s like brushing your teeth.

When we were young, all we could think about was growing up faster. We thought about the career we’d have, the dog, the children, our perfect spouses and have the time to play video games all day long.

I know my pick.

These courtships tend to flood themselves with awkward pauses, financial bracket litmus tests, and plenty of overzealous drink slam-downs–emphasizing the gravitas that is the collective struggle of dealing with their significant other, or socially opaque boss.

3. Go download a neato font for the GIANT, RED TEXT that’ll constantly appear everywhere in your erratic video.

Ordinary life does not interest me.

Studies have shown that looking at pretty things like rolling hills, supermodels, and shiny cars significantly boosts one’s happiness.

I am not telling you to leave your ever-so-posh Manhattan apartment and move to Missouri, however, if feel spontaneous and feel like a road trip, I encourage you to come and see for yourself.