Latest From
Thought Catalog
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The Immature Person's Guide To Sleep No More
Other than peeking at the website, I wanted to be completely in the dark when I got to the performance, and lo and behold, it was literally pitch black as…
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Ten Reasons Why Masturbating Can Be Better Than Sex
Your hand doesn’t talk back. It doesn’t bitch and complain or ask to be on top. It doesn’t text you at three in the morning asking you to come over.…
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The Joys Of Making Out
You should kiss someone if you like them. You’ll learn so much about them when you taste their spit. And it will also make you feel young again. No matter…
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On Bad Boys And Nice Guys
See, I’ve got a theory, and it’s that we’re all possessed by this need to be special, to be different – to matter so much to the person we choose…
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How I Feel About My Body
Not only were the external stimuli I was exposed to promoting an “ideal” body image, they were also promoting a sense that unless I fit that particular ideal, I should…
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The Different Types Of Third Wheels There Are
While they have common characteristics—a lone, often single humanoid in the company of a couple (and sometimes a really super cute, tiny little puppy the couple just added to the…
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The 5 Kinds Of People You Will Meet On Grindr
The Traveler just so happens to always be visiting that day and is in dire need of meeting up because he’s lonely or needs someone to show him the city,…
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4 Drunk Conversations I Need To Stop Initiating
Apparently there’s this part of my brain, lodged uncomfortably somewhere between the temporal lobe and the cerebellum, that drives me against my will to start aimless conversations while drunk. No…
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Huff Your Own Poop
Jenkem first came to public attention thanks to several news investigations into the living conditions of Zambian street children. They found that the children enjoyed in order from most popular…
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Things I Will Do If I Have A Crush On You
If I have a crush on you, I will ignore you. This is stupid and I hate it but it’s what I do. I will look at you and be…
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5 Telltale Signs That Your Relationship Sucks
So I know there’s a song called “Rollercoaster of Love” but to me, love is less of a Magic Mountain thrill ride and more of a sweet happy (and occasionally…
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To The One Who Broke Her Heart
Actually, forget that. Let’s not waste our time with meaningless pleasantries. Our acquaintanceship was as much out of necessity and courtesy as any could ever be. I loved her, and…
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How To Tell If Somebody Loves You
Somebody loves you if they pick an eyelash off of your face or wet a napkin and apply it to your dirty skin. You didn’t ask for these things, but…
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Top Five Things People Like To Write On Someone's Facebook Wall
Couples gushing about each other on their Facebook walls should be illegal. Like Time Warner Cable or Comcast needs to come to their door, find their router and smash it…
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A Guide To Having A Drug Dealer?
Attempting to meet up with your drug dealer is sort of like going to the gym. You wait 45 minutes for a text and then when you get it, you…
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5 Body Language Signs To Tell You He’s The One
Ladies, we all know men are hard to figure out. They are a constantly shifting puzzle, 10,000 pieces, all sky. Perpetually finding new ways to obfuscate their thoughts and subvert…
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All The Times I Failed To Have A Threesome
In some ways, it’s more aggravating that I came so close to having a threesome. If it had never been a possibility, then I might never have cared. But to…
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If I Were A Girl
If I were a girl I would cry a lot. I mean, I’m already emotional with a penis so I shudder to think what I would be like as a…




















