If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle. -Hillary Clinton

Apparently, ASMR stands for “Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response.” This “response” can basically be described as “brain tingles,” something that only some people can experience.

People think about their exes in bed sometimes, including with you. Including about that ex you are really threatened by and worry that they might still have feelings for.

Now your relationship is less like a delicate flower and more like some kind of Cold War-era bunker, ready to withstand literally anything that life will throw at it.

5. Settling significant decisions via Rock, Paper, Scissors.

Do not give an utterly unpronounceable spelling to a well-known name.

You go, girl, you did what we never could. And then put it on the internet.

Clearly you’re not delivery, DiGiorno, who did you think you had fooled?

Michael Cunningham, marry me. Seriously.