I Am Done Making Excuses For You

You will always tell me you are trying. You have made me believe that you will change and you will still choose to stay. You will keep on giving me flowers and remind me that apologizes will always be about peace offerings and showers of hugs and kisses. You will tell me that you will never do it again and that I have to believe every single thing you will say. But of course, I will forgive you. I can easily forgive you.

My friends want me to let go of this relationship. All because I have done so much to save us. You will leave me hanging and you will come back like nothing really happened. Here I am, accepting all your excuses with open arms. I am always willing to save you from your mess. My family advised me to look for a love I deserve. Because they know better, that I cannot have it with you. All the pain whenever you walk out in the middle of the argument and the nights I left alone, I still stayed. Because I believe you deserve me and I can always have you.

We are supposed to be a happy couple. The one who conquers all the struggles and boundaries of love. We should be the one who is willing to accept our flaws and imperfections simply because we are not perfect. I need to forgive you and remind myself that love must be about understanding and accepting the past mistakes. But we both deserve a kind of love with no excuses and too much forgiveness. I think, being selfless has its own limits, too.

I am done doing excuses for you. I have to stop saving a relationship that is already not worth the risk at all. I have to let myself be loved in a way that there will never be doubt and fears of getting hurt again. My love is more than enough for us that it makes you look for something that is not too much. I have failed to make you see that I can do better.

Maybe, it is not the relationship that needs a break. Maybe, we both need this, too.