I Want To Love You But You Just Won’t Let Me

They say life is too short to keep your feelings harbored inside your chest, so now, I want to be honest with you and with myself – now, I’m saying, I want to love you – no one else but you.

I look at your eyes and see a stain of uncertainties and doubt. I wonder – who hurt you so badly to have piercing eyes like that? I hear your voice and notice how low it goes – who dragged you so down that it made you lose your own voice? I watch you from afar and observe that you are reserved and reticent – who turned you into someone who’s not afraid of missing fun in this world, what did they do that made you lose your interest in being happy and jubilant like everyone else?

I never want you to think that I’m just here to see your scarred soul and leave you afterward because I wouldn’t be able to take its depth and intensity. I don’t want you to think that I’m a temporary person – someone who will put smiles on your face for a while and leave when things get hard.

I want to love you not because I’m curious with knowing your past hurts or witnessing how deep is your scar – I want to love you because that’s simply what my heart tells me – you’re all I want.

I want to let you feel not just butterflies when we hold hands, but also security, safety, home – here by my side.

I know I don’t have the capacity to change you or even make you love yourself but I’d do everything to let you feel your worth – that you are a precious human being who deserves all the good things in the world.

I want to love you because I am happy with seeing your eyes filled with gladness – I would want to bring back that smile that your past heartbreaks took away from you.

I want to love you because I know you deserve so much more than just flings – you are capable of giving your all when you love, and I want to do the same for you; I will reciprocate all the love that overflows from you.

I want to love you – but for some reason, I can’t.

Because while I was wanting to love you, you were also wishing someone to love you the same – hoping that she would be the one who can give you all the love you need, the kind that I can give.

How I wish that ‘someone’ was me though.

I want to love you,

but it’s sad because

you’re not allowing me to.