If You’re Looking For Love, Learn To Be Your Own Hero First
Before entering a relationship, the greatest love story you should have is with yourself.
By Ang Nunez
Before entering a relationship, the greatest love story you should have is with yourself. It is imperative to know when to forgive yourself, to understand your own self-worth, and to be your own hero. Forgiveness is a word that will have to be ingrained in your dictionary and understanding our boundaries and limits. Life is unpredictable, and we will experience lots of failures as well as successes, so it is important to be kind to ourselves when we don’t succeed. These tools will allow us to step into relationships with more confidence with an understanding of what we want.
It is essential to have this self-awareness because once you are in a relationship, if you do not love yourself, you will become your worst enemy in the long run.
Love can be magical, but it can also lead to our fall from grace. When we fall in love, we usually feel intoxicated by our new partner and want to provide and do anything to bring more of that joy and happiness in your new relationship. The problem is that those who do not have a great relationship with themselves will be very eager to please and not set any boundaries. When you honor yourself, you are going to know your own boundaries and limits. You will be more open to communicate to your partner what is acceptable and what is not. They will understand, and if they truly love you, they will respect you for letting them know.
Having boundaries is a form of self-respect and a marking of powerful self-love because you are willing to know your tolerance levels. If someone breaks those rules, you will swiftly dissolve the relationship. However, if you have low self-esteem or do not respect yourself, you will endure and accept the intolerable, since your main motivation will be to preserve the relationship because you might be afraid to be alone. If you are exerting too much energy in a relationship where it isn’t reciprocated, it is a sign you should let them go and focus on your own self-care and growth.
Knowing your worth is essential. If you value yourself, you will demand and expect nothing but the best. Acts of disrespect and dishonesty will have no room in your home. You will actively also seek people that are honorable and share positive qualities that fulfil you. Patience while dating will be your tool and will allow you to know who is deserving and expose who is being deceitful. Jumping into relationships too soon can create problems, especially if the right questions are not asked to see if your interests are aligned. Love can make us forget that we might need to take the time to learn more about who we are with. Self-respect will allow you to make practical choices for the long run-in order to avoid issues in the future.
Self-love is a learning process that takes time and allows you to build superhero qualities. You need to be the voice of reason by trusting your instincts when something feels off. Cut ties when you sense it is not going to work out if they show their true colors. You must be aware of what is right and wrong early on. However, people do fall out of love and understand the need to move on. So, if a relationship does end, you will be there for yourself first to pick up the pieces. Being your own hero is a powerful asset because it reminds you that you are still worthy if you are single and that you are strong, incredible and a warrior. You can make it on your own, thrive, and be happy.
Life always gives us challenges, and the road is rarely easy for many of us. When we aim for goals and strive to make our dreams come true, we must be prepared when things do not go the way we planned them. This is when we must learn to forgive ourselves if we feel like failures. Understanding our own self-worth is another major thing we must learn as well. If we do not value or see what we are capable of, someone else will not see it either. When you are in love, you need to understand the boundaries and your tolerance for disrespect. With self-worth comes respect and they are tied. When you respect yourself, you know your boundaries, and people will rarely test your limits. Not everyone will be able to push you or command you because you will know very well what you want and what you deserve. When we do not respect ourselves, we are more inclined to put up with things that expedite the end of the relationship. Sometimes, it is not our undying love that causes the breakup but our own insecurity and desperate need for self-love.
Finally, we need to be our own heroes, especially when the relationship ends. We need to learn how to pick ourselves up in conjunction with the support and strength that we receive from others. There will always be people that will stand by our side, but our own voices within will give us the hope needed to move ahead. When we have trust in ourselves that we can move on and conquer, we become unstoppable. This is not to say that moments of vulnerability are not required. We will be vulnerable and feel weak and that is okay, but we should try our best not to bring ourselves down with hurtful words. Instead, like heroes, we need to pick ourselves up and find purpose and meaning for the greater tomorrow.