You Better Not Go Back To Her

You left her, don’t forget that.

She was not good enough for you. And you know that because in your heart you felt this, even though you might’ve told her, “It’s not you, it’s me!”

She always wanted more. More time with you, more than a few nights a week. More than just a call to wish a happy birthday. She wanted a lifetime with you. And you did not.

And nothing has changed.

And she did too much. You hated that, remember? She wanted to bring over hot soup when you had the flu that time last year. She planned a surprise party for you that time you were missing your home a little too much. She brought you your favorite book (first edition signed by the author), even though you already had one. She let you have her fries.

It’s like she didn’t have any wants, and you don’t want to be with someone like that, remember?

You want to travel and see the world. And she would’ve made that impossible. She said she was excited by your dreams, but these are yours alone, and you would rather not share your dreams with anyone. It’s just logical. I mean, surely one of these days you’ll plan out that trip to Vietnam and Europe and even Egypt. But had she been with you, you wouldn’t even be able to think of the plan.

That is the correct logic.

And your job, your job is so important right now. You are damn serious about it. Unlike her, who was willing to change her aspirations so that the two of you would work out. You had never budged for your relationship, and frankly, anyone who can give more importance to being with you, than their career, is not the kind of person you can stand to be with.

You were certainly clear about that, right?

And while it was cute and smart first, she’s not your type at all. I mean, so many demands, right from wanting to go out on dates, to meet friends, to have a say in the direction of your relationship. It’s not like you to give up control. And she just never got that. You were being yourself, and she was just being judgmental.

And frankly, there’s only so much one can stand.

So delete her number, unfollow her, keep the phone down, and go out for a drink and meet someone you deserve.

Because you’re not going back to her.

That’s what they will tell him.

Or at least I hope, that’s what they will tell him when he says he wants to come back to me.

Because when he does, I am not sure how strong my ‘No’ will be.

Because I am like a town which craves the storm which ravaged it. The storm that left the town torn and unrecognizable.

Because at least when the storm was here, the town existed to be destroyed. It was alive and breathing. And storm had something to take away.

You have to understand, when the storm goes, the town does too.

This is what my broken heart tells me.

This is why he needs to not come back.

Because when he does, I am not sure how strong my ‘No’ will be.