Until Then, My Love

I’d be lying if I say that I don’t want to be with you.

God knows how much I wanted to.

But above my own wants, I’m trusting my life’s timeline.

If I can take it in my own hands, I’d rather have you in my life right at this time.

Everyone wants to have someone special to hold as they go through each journey.

Someone with whom they can share every victory, big or small.

Someone to back them up when things seem to go down.

Someone to remind them of their beauty when insecurities start to creep in.

And I am no exception to that ‘everyone’ wanting that ‘someone special.’

Despite being used to being on my own, there are times when I badly need to run to you. I am not numb. I admit that I sometimes feel tiny stabs in my heart whenever I see couples spending their precious time together. Questions start to run through my mind, hiding them with a sigh and a smile.

I hope you are with me too, holding me whenever I feel weak.

I hope you are here to cheer me up whenever I feel like a failure.

I hope I can call you just because; or when I feel like I can’t contain my tears anymore.

I hope you are with me right here, right now.

But I know that we have to hang on a little longer.

I know that when our hearts finally meet, you’ll understand why I didn’t jump into the decision of giving myself to you yet.

I don’t want us to be just another dead end story.

I don’t wanna risk the chance of spending eternity with you because I can’t wait for our perfect time or just because I feel lonely.

I want us to take our time first, to be our own selves before being each other’s.

So please. Take your time. Follow your heart. Go on an adventure. Travel. Meet lots of new people. Work on that dream you’ve been dreaming about for so long. Make mistakes and have lessons learned. Fail and bounce back higher.

Do everything that will make you complete as an individual. 

And I promise to do the same.

So that when we finally meet, we’ll both have a lot of stories to share.

Us not being together by now doesn’t mean that our love doesn’t exist.

Let’s just hang in there. 

And believe that real love can’t only be found in fairytales.

Until then, my love.