The number one thing I love about giving head is those soft ‘fuuucks’ he whispers when I’m making him lose it.

I love that he’s laying there and I’m in complete control and all his attention is focused on me and he’s thinking about how happy he is that I’m doing this for him.

I love when he reaches down and brushes my hair out of my face so he can have a better view.

I love the vulnerability of these moments. There’s nothing between us. I think I can feel every time he moves any part of his body. I feel like we might be dual parts of the same organism.

Sometimes he grabs my hand and holds it or just flexes his fingers and palm over my skin. I feel like he’s forget what he normally does with them.

I love that we don’t talk. I’m so exhausted of talking. I love that we are together and affectionate and there is no pressure to fill the silence. The lack of words is soothing. I feel like a peaceful, happy animal without all the stress that accompanies a human brain.

I love that there is so much clarity about what is happening here. I am giving and he is receiving. It feels more intimate to do something unbalanced, there’s a motivation there that isn’t just mutually getting off.

I love when his hands are in my hair. I love when he pulls my head back or down (gently) because he’s really into it.

I love when he cums in my mouth. I know this is vulgar and it just seems like something I’m talking about for shock value, but it’s this whole other thing. It feels more romantic than sexual, consuming something that used to be a part of him and making it a part of me.

It seems so healthy to me, a way of loving someone that honors the human condition instead of ignoring it.

I read some guy talking once about why men like a girl to swallow, aside from it just being easier and cleaner. He said something it was a kind of symbol about being accepted. Like, a girl swallowing his cum is the time he feels most vividly loved and accepted by another person.

I like that, too. If that’s a way I can make someone I like feel, I want to do that. We have to be so vulnerable with sex because we’re naked and our guard is down so maybe there is some truth to this being a time when psychic healing energy can take place.

Sometimes it takes him longer to cum and it feels like work. I’m not saying it’s easy and enjoyable 100% of the time. I don’t always get him to finish. I don’t feel pressure to, either. It’s easier to accept the biological reality that sex isn’t always (or usually) perfect and linear than it is the existential one that life or our relationship or whatever else isn’t perfect and linear either.

It’s so much easier to say all this stuff without words. Our bodies are smart and our brains are dumb. So often I have the human impulse to reach out, to touch, and it’s my mind that stops me, that constructs walls out of doubts, that separates me from everybody else.