What Every Girl Who’s Been Cheated On Deserves To Know

I’ve never had the greatest success when it came to dating. So naturally I envied the guys who had girls fawning over them left and right. But what I never understood was how they could do this when they were already in a committed relationship.

I don’t know if it’s because my parents are high school sweethearts who got married at the tender age of 18 and are still happily married today or that I’m a hopeless romantic by nature, but the concept of cheating always seemed so foreign to me. I’ve never wanted the attention of multiple girls before. All I wanted in a relationship was the attention and affection of one special girl I could call my own. Then again, this isn’t about me.

Yes, some guys cheat, and they’re absolute trash. You’ve probably heard this before, but we’re not all like that. Some of us are different—very, VERY different. And so, to the girl who’s been cheated on, I’d like to say this: I’m sorry. I’m sorry we don’t know your pain. I’m sorry we don’t know what it’s like for a heart to break as yours did. I’m sorry we don’t know what it’s like to not trust freely anymore. Unfortunately, we don’t know much, but I will tell you what we do know.

We know to be gentle. To be careful. We know to take things slowly and respect your boundaries. We know why you’re cautious with us. You see, we see you differently than other girls, and not the way you may think. We don’t see you as broken or damaged, but braver and stronger for everything you’ve been through. To pick yourself up and be vulnerable again deserves nothing but admiration. We see you as you truly are—a whole person—and we want to love every part if you let us.

We’re not going to try and sweet talk our way into your life. We know that’s not even an option. Actions speak louder than words, or so the saying goes. So go ahead, put up your thickest, tallest, and strongest walls. If there’s even the smallest crack, we’ll chip away at it until we break through. If we can’t break through, we’ll climb over. And if all else fails, we’ll sit patiently and wait until you’re ready to take them down. Nothing in life worth having comes easy, and you’re worth all the time and effort in the world to us.

Now, you may never want to say this, and they may never read this, but to all the guys before us who cheated: Thank you. Thank you for letting these girls come into our lives. I know mine has changed for the better, and I haven’t been happier since. I only hope I can make her as happy as she makes me. And so, to the girl who’s been cheated on, I hope you wake up one day and say that being cheated on was one of the best things to ever happened to you, because there are guys out there who are ready to prove that they are worthy of your trust. Worthy of your love. There are guys out there who know just how valuable you really are. Who will love every part of you with all their heart, because you are more than enough just the way you are. Guys who want to give you—yes, you—everything you deserve and much much more.

There are good guys out there. We do exist. We’re just looking for that one special girl to call our own. So when you do find us, which you will, you’ll know.