30. When she started humping my golf club and yelling, ‘I’M HORNY.’
“It was a blind date. I was 21 and she was 18. I took her to play miniature golf. At one point as I bent over to pick up my golf ball, she put her club between her legs and pantomimed that it was a dick and started thrusting it against my asshole while yelling ‘I’M HORNY.’ Totally broke the ice. We’ve been married for 16 years now and she’s just as crazy, loud, and hilarious. Our kids don’t even know how to handle her. She’s also gotten more beautiful with age.”