47 People In Long-Term Relationships Reveal The Secrets For Making It Work

"If things are tense, hug each other for 20 seconds."

Updated 8 years ago, December 8, 2016

1. If things are tense, hug each other for 20 seconds.

“• When you are starting to bicker with each other, check if you have both eaten recently and are relatively well-rested.
• If you are actually fighting, make sure you have understood what the other person has said BEFORE you respond. It will save you so much headache from misunderstandings. It’s as simple as, ‘So I think you’re saying _______; do I have that right?’
• Respect each other’s privacy and take time for yourself. Regularly spend time with friends independent of your SO.
• Lastly, this one sounds silly but it works. Me and my SO can say to each other ’20 second hug?’ at any time and often it dissolves the tension and reconnects us.”
—desirage

2. Buy each other presents every time you see something that they would like.

“Buy each other presents every time you see something that they would like. Doesn’t have to be big. Just once in a while my wife come home with a comic book or a video game for me, and sometimes I buy her Pokémon cards or amiibos or some shit. Feels good. I don’t know if it’s the best tip, but it works for me. AND DON’T GET A FUCKING DOG. Fuck dogs. Unless you like shit up the goddamn walls like Dumb and Dumber. ”
ThomasMarno

3. Choose wisely and treat kindly.

“{m69, married 40 yrs}
Finding them:
Choose Wisely.
Keeping them:
Treat Kindly”
—NYCMusicalMarathon

4. Don’t keep score. You’re on the same team.

“Don’t keep score. You guys are on the same team and have to work things out together.”
—lcw32

5. Separate bathrooms, blankets, and bank accounts.

“Separate bathrooms, blankets, and bank accounts.”
—akisawana

6. Spend a day together in your pajamas just playing games, reading, or binging shows.

“Spend a day together in your pajamas just playing games, reading, or binging shows. Fiancee and I do this. We end up having a lot of fun and talking constantly throughout.”
—iNomaDo

7. Smoke weed and bang a lot.

“I know everyone is going to say things like communication, honesty, blah, blah. yes, those things are important.

But seriously, just smoke weed and bang a lot.

You’d be surprised how much less hostility and frustration you have toward your spouse if you get high and screw 5-6 days a week once the kids are in bed.”
—luminous_beings