Thank You To All The Men Who’ve Left

Thank you.

Thank you for each time you left me hanging and walked away, because I knew right then the girth of my own palms. I knew right then that I needed no one but myself to pull me up and keep going. So thanks.

Thank you for all the times you treated me like I was invisible, like I didn’t exist, like I didn’t matter, because it made me want to do more than exist in a silent corner. It made me want to go out into the world and roar like the lioness I am, it made me want to seize life and squeeze the living hell out of it. So thanks.

Thank you for all the times you were too busy for me, for when you treated me like an option, because it made me look at those people in my life who always kept me as a top priority. It made me realize how truly blessed I am to have so many people who love me unconditionally. So thanks.

Thank you for every tear you had me shed, because I knew then how much I needed laughter, and I would go to any length to find it. If I wouldn’t have sought an avenue to extort your venom from my being, I would never have found the most exhilarating laughter or forged some of the greatest friendships that I did. So thanks.

Thank you for breaking my heart into a million pieces. Had I not been broken beyond repair, I wouldn’t spend the rest of my life trying to stop others from breaking. So thanks.

Thank you for all the times you acted like I was second, or third best, because it made me wanna be first. It made me wanna be first so bad and I didn’t know where to find that. So I turned inwards and made myself the best, and I learnt to never allow anyone to make me feel second best. So thanks.

Thank you for cheating on me. Thank you for showing me how crass being a human can be. Thank you for your cowardice. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have known the strength of my own heart, how easily I could forgive. I wouldn’t have known that my kindness was stronger than my deepest pain. I wouldn’t have known my capacity to accept being human. So thanks.

Thank you for moving on, for forgetting me with the speed of light, because it made me realize how I’m different from you. It made me realize that even while you pained me more than I wished to admit, it meant that I was given a different heart.

I was given a heart that retains memories in the gashes and feelings in the scars, a heart that could stop for you a million times over but still start to beat, for myself.

You showed me the beauty and bravery in the person I was created to be with juxtaposition. So thanks.

Thank you, you, and you because even though we could never have been, you’ve left me with the best parts of myself. It just took me a while to see it.