The Struggle Of Being At A Crossroads

“What are your interests? Where do you see yourself at?” They’re very simple questions but for some people, it feels like it’s a mystery yet to be solved. You’re left reeling, desperate for answers to your endless questions. You’re lost. You’re confused.

Who’s to blame you? It’s not easy. It’s frustrating. It’s disappointing. You look around, you see your friends, your old classmates and they’re halfway through their degrees enjoying what they chose — and you’re stuck on doing something you’ve impulsively decided on the last minute. You’ve been stuck on this crossroad for a long time and all you really want is to move past it. You want to be able to lift the anchor weighting you down. There are moments where you endlessly search the Web for courses, jobs, and opportunities — really just a chance, any chance — in the hopes of finding something that might interest you, but as the sun rises and your eyes burn from the hundreds of articles you have read, you’re still rooted on the same place you were before.

You force yourself to be optimistic. You tell yourself that it will be all worth it in the end. But it gets hard. It gets hard pretending to be okay. To say you’re doing fine. To rely on the affirmations and encouragements of loved ones. No matter how much we want to believe in their words of wisdom, no matter how much we try to hold onto these things to make us move forward, at the end of the day it’s the uncertainty that overpowers. No one likes the feeling of blindingly walking into the unknown. It derails our lives. We’re left in a never-ending, cold tunnel of self-doubt. Whether we will make it through, whether we will achieve the things we desire, whether the path that we’re taking is the right one.

I wish I could tell you you’ll find the answers to your questions soon. I wish I could tell you it gets easier. But just like you, I’m in the same crossroad. It’s been months, nearly a year even on having a ‘quarter life crisis’ and from what I’ve learned so far, it’s not terrible to admit that we’re not okay. It’s not terrible to start from scratch, to ask for help. I’ve started seeing a career counsellor and each session, I am constantly realising and learning new things about myself.

Sometimes, we have to lose our ways, to be in the dark, in order for us to find ourselves. You’ve probably heard these countless times but you have to be your own saviour. Be your own hero, because even with the countless amount of help and wisdom we get from our friends and family, that will not save you, only you can. The good news is you’re not alone.

Think of this time as a cocoon. You’re just in the process of blossoming into a stronger individual ready to face the wonderful, crazy world we’re a part of.