A Short List Of Things To Say Instead Of Ghosting Someone

• “So, I don’t think we’re going to work out, but thank you for your time and best of luck in all your future endeavors.”
• “I know we’ve only just barely gotten to know each other, but a big part of me is convinced we would not survive the apocalypse together — and that has recently become kind of a big concern for me. Who would’ve thought, you know? Timing is fucking weird.”
• “Well, this kind of sucks to say but I am broken in certain ways and it’s got absolutely nothing to do with you. I thought I was ready to get back out there and date again when I fired up the apps, but truth is I wasn’t. I’m sorry that you have to be someone cast aside during all of this (though it’d be arrogant for me to claim that you’re definitely interested in the first place), but what’s someone to do? Date you even though I know it’s not right and is almost definitely going to crash and burn at some point in the not-so-distant future? Probably not fair for either of us.”
• “Hey, I think it’s time we go our separate ways. Part of me wants to say I’m sorry for doing this over text, but it’s how the majority of our communication occurred anyway, so I feel like it’s fair game. You could argue that I should’ve done this in person or over the phone, but I feel like that would’ve just been really awkward and not really all that beneficial to either of us.”
• “I met someone else who I think is a better fit for me. I may be wrong. If I ever attempt to darken your digital doorstep again (I’m admittedly very weak with this shit), remind me of how I broke it off, or ignore me completely.”
• “Enough people have ghosted on me by now, more than I care to quantify, for me to realize it’s not the appropriate way to end things. So I’m ending them with this text. I wish you all the best.”
• “I recall that your dating profile said you were looking for a partner in crime, and after a few dates I don’t feel like things would ever progress to the level that I’d be willing to do something like commit a heist with you. So I think it’s best we cut bait.”
• “Hey, so, I’ve tried to fight it but I’m still undeniably in love with my ex in like, a big way, so we should probably stop seeing each other. I apologize for wasting your time and not having figured that out or been at all honest with myself about it before going out with you, but I suppose it is what it is. And it sucks, because she’s not even that great! But the heart wants what the heart wants or whatever. Anyway, hope you find what you’re looking for sooner rather than later.”
• “Hey, sorry for the delay. I’ve been pretty busy. Work is crazy and that’s kind of my priority right now, so I have to put that first and think we should stop hanging out. However, and this may seem disrespectful, because, well, it is, but it’s 2020 and the game has changed so much in the last decade (I hate myself even more for having just typed that by the way, calling it a game, but what else am I supposed to call it?), so I’m going to say it anyway: I’m happy to keep you on my bench of potential future partners for if and when I ever change my priorities and you don’t have things work out with someone else, but yeah. For now, this is the end.”
• “Believe me when I tell you you don’t want any part of all this. I also say this having no idea if you actually want to see me again. But I felt like I should get out in front of it.”
• “I think it’s time for us to go our separate ways. This will be the last text I send you, and I will not respond to further texts from you. I am not open to providing feedback, and will not be baited into responding if you choose to send some of your own. Probably.”
• “I lied. I don’t like hiking that much. And I don’t want to do it again. I think we should keep seeing other people (as I assume I’m not the only duck in your pond), because I know you like to go hiking at least once every weekend, weather permitting, and I’m not the kind of companion who’s going to consistently do that with you.”
• “I’d apologize for saying I think things between us should not progress, but it’s also not something I should be particularly sorry about. Sometimes it’s just the way things go. I’m sure you get it, that you’ve been there plenty of times before. I don’t assume that either of us is new to all this bullshit.”
• “You shot your shot and I respect that very much. But it missed. I have no doubt that it’s meant for someone else.”
• “My friend told me I don’t owe you shit but I don’t want to be a callous dick. I’m writing to tell you that whatever we may have been working toward is over.”
• “It’s hard for me to really explain why I always want what I seem to be unable to have. You came in pretty hot, made it clear to me that I could have you if I wanted, and this was a key factor in making me not want you. I know it’s counterintuitive and certainly fucked up, but that doesn’t really change how I feel.”
• “I’m going through some shit. It’s got nothing to do with you. I think we should part. I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt anybody.”

This article was originally published on PS I Love You. Relationships Now.