Paul Barker

My father texts and calls me constantly asking if I’m okay, which makes me wonder if people who don’t live in New York think that the hurricane is still happening. Although his incessant barrage of questions annoy me, it’s better than not being called.

There will be times when you feel your loneliness will swallow you. Don’t beat off, you’ll feel worse after.

You will drive most of the time. It’s not that I don’t like driving, it’s that I love not driving.

That night, a bomb went off in downtown Atlanta. We awoke to full-coverage on the news. Over one hundred injured, at least 2 dead.

Todrick went full out and hired a full cast to act out the hoodrat version (featuring Antoine Dodson of “Hide yo’ kids, hide yo’ wife” fame). Take off your PC hats and please to enjoy.

I don’t care if your full-time job is licking envelopes at a nuclear waste plant, it’s an accomplishment if you’ve managed to secure a salaried position ANYWHERE.

Almost all your friends are in serious relationships now (they paired off with someone seemingly all at once) and you’ve become the weird loser that somehow missed the boat. All of a sudden, you’re thinking pathetic thoughts like “I think I need more single friends so I can have someone to hang out with on a Saturday afternoon again.”

Gavin McInnes has been called many things: the godfather of hipsterdom, a punk, a misogynist, a white supremacist, a prankster, fashion icon, a tree planter, a drug-loving boozer playboy, an entrepreneur, a drug dealer, a cartoonist, a musician, a writer and perhaps most memorably just an all around awful human being.

Yoga has always seemed a bit controversial to me. Endure an hour of awkward (and often painful) poses and then bada bing, bada boom, your mind and body are rejuvenated. Doesn’t something seem wrong with this picture? Sure, you feel better after yoga.

Roxicodone (Roxy, for short) comes in tiny blue pills. So tiny, in fact, that I would often lose them in my room and not find it until weeks later. Misplacing your drugs is always the worst feeling, but you could take solace in knowing that you would find them again when you were least expecting it and it would be the best surprise ever.

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“This is my life. This is what’s happening in my life. This is who I’ve chosen to be with. The problem is that my choice is theoretically time-unlimited. This isn’t like ‘We’re monogamous for one more year.’ It’s more like ‘We’re monogamous… forever.’”

It’s all a game we play. You’re not supposed to know how much power you had over me. You’re not supposed to how much I thought about you, how often I thought about what were you doing, how often you reduced me to tears.

1. Corn on the cob 2. Buffalo wings 3. Spaghetti 4. Candy apple 5. Egg drop soup 6. Crunchy tacos + over-application of salsas and various watery sauces…

“Guys, there’s like, no beer left. Virtually no beer. Should we take shots? Who wants a shot? Raise your hand. Okay, I can’t… how many of you are there? We don’t have enough shot glasses then, so I’m gonna drink from the bottle and the rest of you can have a shot glass or drink from the bottle when I’m done. Someone pour the shots for us.”

You’ve blocked me on Facebook (the modern way of saying “I hate your guts!”) and you won’t even mention my name while in the presence of mutual friends. How did we get to this point? It makes me sick to think that someone who once meant so much to me could start to erase everything.

This new music video from the Portland-based dream pop duo Mint Julep for their song “Aviary” is just mesmerizing. The directors play with the wigglegram or camera shift technique we see in a lot of gif animations, but give it a refreshingly different take by prolonging the effect across the span of a whole music video as well as running wigglegram against the regular film rate.

My brother is messed up. Even though we’ve become “close” in the last few years, I still acknowledge that he’s a person with serious rage issues. I knew things weren’t going so well between he and his girlfriend. He had cut her off from her old life when they started dating and subsequently made her entirely dependent on him.