Oliver Miller

An illustrated guide.

I’m never changing my Facebook status again, not even if I get married.

It’s a thing.

“May the days be aimless. Let the seasons drift.”

Here it is. The most important cat video that you’ll see — oh, let’s say — all week.

Because America, f–k yeah.

…I only used the word “chick” to irritate any ‘Jezebel’ cross-over readers that might be reading this.

…Which is much, much harder than it sounds.

“Do you like it? Do you like this sexy sex thing that I am sexing you with?”

“Go too far in every direction.”

I really did.

He kissed her. She kissed him.

This is a story that I can tell, if I will, for I was there the entire time.

In public I spend a lot of my time trying to act neutral and not bother them; them, the others, the people around me, while wondering if they are projecting onto me too. Are they wondering about what I’m thinking? Are they aware that I’m aware of them?

An egg bigger than the whole wide world, the universe.

What will survive of us is love.

We have replaced the confused Shia LaBeouf face with the confused Mark Wahlberg face. …Yay?

Lies and the lying liars who lie them.