Today In Useless News: Now There’s A Teapot That Looks Like Hitler!

Today in news that you can’t use, apparently there was a teapot which was advertised on a billboard in Southern California which looked remarkably like… Hitler. Or not. Or no, maybe it did. (It didn’t.)

Above is my “artist’s conception” of the teapot. Below is the actual billboard from Southern California which caused all of the offense:

…So as you can see, um, yes. The billboard was for a Michael Graves-designed teakettle which was sold by J.C. Penney. According to reliable news sources, “You don’t have to be speeding down Interstate 405 to do a double take: The handle forms Hitler’s slickly parted hair, while the knob on the lid stands in for that distinctive mustache style.” Which is then proved by showing what the billboard looks like if you squint, really really hard. …Um, yes, sure, why not. I mean, if I squint enough, my girlfriend looks like a bee, but when that happens, I don’t suddenly start screaming “Jesus Christ why did you suddenly turn into a massive bee like that?! Are you coming to sting me?” You can make things look like a lot of things by squinting really hard, is all’s I’m saying.

ANY-way, we here at Thought Catalog take a very firm anti-Hitler stance, as always, but what do you — the gentle and-never-quick-to-be-rash reader — have to say about all of this? It hardly matters, in a way. This story was reported yesterday, and the billboard has already been taken down, which is good for foes of Hitler and good for fans of squinting really hard.

J.C. Penney has also apologized for the whole thing:

The retailer… soon began trying to explain its latest hiccup over Twitter, calling the tea kettle’s resemblance to the man responsible for the Holocaust unintentional. “If we had designed it to look like something, we would have gone with a snowman or something fun  :)” the company tweeted.

Yes! A snowman! Smiling emoticon! Or something else that is fun would be like a snowman but definitely not like the founder of National Socialism. Maybe like a kitten or something fun like that.

ANYWAY, not only has the billboard been taken down, the teapot has been taken off the J.C. Penney website — although before it was taken off the site, the teapot quickly sold out, which probably says something important about our society which probably doesn’t bear thinking about for too long. (People are dumb? People like creepy collectibles? Let’s just not think about it.)

But fret not. If you truly, truly need your very own “Hitler teapot,” you can buy one on Ebay for a mere $225. Which again says something about society that we’d rather not think about for too long. …But still, if you keep having a problem where you are squinting at things and then seeing Hitler, do let us know. There’s probably a pill that you can take for that.