Sesame Street Is Trying to Brainwash Your Children With Its Liberal, Leftist Agenda

We have some exciting news that you will never, ever believe. Shockingly, a conservative writer who gets paid to find evidence of liberal bias in things managed to find liberal bias in a bunch of TV shows — and among these shows was… Sesame Street. Okay; that’s not actually shocking. What is shocking is that a conservative writer decided to bitch and moan about Sesame Street, but missed out on the whole “Bert and Ernie are clearly a gay couple” angle. But oh well.

Yes, author Ben Shapiro went to Hollywood, and was shocked — positively shocked! — to learn that there are liberals in Hollywood. And so he wrote a whole book about how there are liberals in Hollywood, because no one has ever pointed this out before. But what most angered Shapiro were a bunch of Muppets; specifically, the goddamn peacenik Muppets of Sesame Street:

Shapiro is the hardest on Sesame Street, accusing creators of trying to brainwash children…

“Sesame Street tried to tackle divorce, tackled ‘peaceful conflict resolution’ in the aftermath of 9/11 and had [gay actor] Neil Patrick Harris on the show playing the subtly-named ‘fairy shoeperson’,” writes Shapiro, who also notes Grover breaking bread with a hippie and the socioeconomic and racial undertones in Oscar living in a garbage can.

Okay, I was unaware that “divorce” and “peaceful conflict resolution” were specifically liberal things, but Shapiro wrote it, so it must be true. Man, who wants to teach kids how to be “peaceful,” anyway? After all, weren’t you just hankering for that post-9/11 Sesame Street episode about “the value of violence,” where Cookie Monster chokes Oscar the Grouch to death and then tosses his decaying body back into his own fucking trash can? …Of course you were.

Amazingly, Ben Shapiro also found evidence of a foul liberal bias in some other TV shows: Friends was pro-lesbian, MacGuyver had “an anti-gun agenda,” M*A*S*H was all about pacifism and “the wastefulness of war,” and Happy Days had a strong anti-Vietnam War message — “if you really look it for, you can find it.”

How did Mr. Shapiro learn all this? Why, he went undercover as a liberal, of course! How did he go undercover? By being Jewish and wearing a hat–

Impressive stuff. Of course, Mr. Shapiro may have missed out on an important concept. It might not just be that “Hollywood” has a liberal bias. It might just be that “the whole world” has a liberal bias as well. After all, if you look at the entire arc of history, everything has always gotten more liberal since the dawn of time, not just since Obama got elected.

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…After all, a thousand years ago, white dudes controlled everything, you got burnt to death at the stake for being gay or a “feminist,” and you got burnt to death if you didn’t go to church. That’s pretty conservative. …Ever since then, we’ve basically been getting more and more “liberal,” since many people found that being burnt to death all the time wasn’t that much fun.

…But even more than that, can we have an end to this whole bitching-about-Hollywood-being-liberal thing? People in Hollywood are in business to make “money”; and making money is, after all, a highly conservative value.

The problem isn’t that evil studio executives are sneaking in secret leftist messages that everyone hates. No; the problem is that so-called liberal values are popular. If they weren’t popular, these shows would get bad “ratings,” not make any “money,” and be canceled. The sad fact that Ben Shapiro is grappling with — and failing to understand — is that people would rather watch a children’s show that promotes peace and understanding.

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Anyway, end of rant. Now, can someone please explain to me what the secret anti-war message in Happy Days is? When Fonzie jumps over the shark, does the shark represent, like, American Militarism? When he punched the jukebox, was the jukebox a symbol for Richard Nixon? I’m so confused. 

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