Bizarre "Planking" Craze Sweeps Through Australia

Australia has given us many important things over the years, and -- okay, that's completely untrue. Australia has given us exactly three things over the years: Vegemite, koala bears, and that one episode of The Simpsons where they make fun of Australia. ...But now, Australia has gone and provided us with yet another thing: a…

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Australia has given us many important things over the years, and — okay, that’s completely untrue. Australia has given us exactly three things over the years: Vegemite, koala bears, and that one episode of The Simpsons where they make fun of Australia. [1]

But now, Australia has gone and provided us with yet another thing: a crazy new trend called “planking.”

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRHnTFesv7c&w=575&h=390]

For the uninitiated, “planking” involves the following:

1) Lying down flat on your belly, on top of various things.

And,

2) And that is all.

If you didn’t watch the above video, THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU? Okay, let’s go again. Here’s the same “Aussie” video footage of this totally crazy new “planking” trend:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRHnTFesv7c&w=575&h=390]

Oh, come on, Australia! That’s not a real trend. Lying down is not a trend. …Or if it is, get ready for my new article tomorrow about this crazy new “sleeping” trend that is sweeping through America like wildfire.

Clearly, Australia is just trying to fuck with us by presenting “planking” as a thing. …And they’re all the way down in the Southern Hemisphere, so what are we going to do about it? Nothing, that’s what. Australians are all like: “OY, LET’S MAKE UP A ‘PLANKING’ TREND — THAT’LL CHUNDER UP THOSE YANKS’ DIDGERIDOOS. OY AND THEN AFTER THAT, LET’S GO TO THE BEACH AND DRINK; DID WE MENTION THAT BASICALLY OUR ENTIRE COUNTRY IS ON THE BEACH?” [2]

So, well played, Australians. You have invented a fake trend that involves lying down on various things. …We’d say that you’ve gotten the last laugh on us by making this thing up. But you’re still Australians, so no, you still lose.Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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FOOTNOTES

[1] …But Vegemite, if you’ve ever eaten it, is completely disgusting, and did you know that in real life, koala bears are extremely grouchy and not fun? Yes, koalas are grouchy dicks in real life. DID I JUST BLOW YOUR MIND BY TELLING YOU THAT? …Koalas are not cuddly at all. They don’t even like getting belly-rubs. What kind of an uncaring god would create an adorable tiny bear with a big black nose and then make it a grouchy bitch who doesn’t like getting belly-rubs?
[2] I thought that I had invented the word “Chunder,” but apparently it is a real Australian word. It means “throw up” and makes no sense whatsoever in this context; you are welcome.