Not All Facebook Statuses Are Subliminal Messages

Have you ever posted a Facebook status and then have someone ask you, call you or text you about it? “What was that all about?” “Is this about so-and-so?” “Are you OK?” For goodness sake, not everything posted has a cryptic undertone. Not every song-lyric status means that I’m in love, happy, pissed off or suicidal. A lot of times, I just heard the song and liked a line or verse from it and posted it.

Since the majority of my statuses’ are song lyrics, I figured that I would put together a fun post by looking at my last 10 song-lyric statuses and decoding them into: (a) why I posted them and (b) what I obviously really meant by them.

1. “Follow me, everything is alright. I’ll be the one to tuck you in at night. And if you want to leave, I can guarantee you won’t find nobody else like me…”

When: August 23
Why I posted it: I’ve recently re-discovered this song and have been listening to it non-stop. I think it’s a beautiful song, and I love this part of it. So I posted it.
What I obviously really meant: Ironically, I posted this after snapping a dry spell that would send most 20-something men into a mass hysteria. The two aren’t related, but because I had sex and this was the next post, obviously they are.

2. “Words are a motherf-cker — they can be great, or they can degrade, or even worse, they can teach hate…”

When: August 16
Why I posted it: I’m a big Eminem fan, mostly because I just respect his God-given gift to put words together and spit them out at the rapid rate he can. It came on my shuffle; I was feeling it, so I posted it.
What I obviously meant by it: Since my job in real life is a journalist, obviously this ties in somehow.

3. Shared the music video to “Dilemma,” by Nelly featuring Kelly Rowland.

When: August 14
Why I posted it: #TBT
What I obviously meant by it: Obviously I’m crushing on a single mother who is taken and I want to scoop her like a cup of chocolate chip cookie dough.

4. “I got 99 problems but you won’t be one.”

When: July 19
Why I posted it: I’ll admit, I kind of like Iggy Azalea. I don’t think she’s all that talent, but I just like her… and I love this lyric. (And yes, I know it’s based off of Jay Z lyric.)
What I obviously meant by it: OK, this one was actually spot-on. I wanted to try and sort things out with my ex, but then realized that I’d be better off without her.

5. “It’s funny how it’s the little things in life that mean the most…”

When: June 4
Why I posted it: When is it ever not OK to post Zac Brown Band lyrics?
What I obviously meant by it: Obviously I was having an extensional life epiphany and wanted to post a deep, meaningful status.

6. “If I was your best friend, I’d want you around all the time; could I be your best friend, if you promise you’ll be mine?”

When: May 16
Why I posted it: As we go further back in time, my memory gets fuzzier, but I’m pretty sure that I had just seen ‘Get Rich or Die Tryin’ again and remembered how much I like bumping to this song in the car.
What I obviously meant by it: Obviously this is a subliminal message to all of my girl friends out there that a homie is trying to get in that.

7. “Time to do what must be done, and be a king when kingdom comes…”

When: April 26
Why I posted it: Another song I was playing on a loop for about a week.
What I obviously meant by it: I’m the man, I’m the man, I’m the maaaaaan.

8. “Sunny days wouldn’t be special if it wasn’t for rain; joy wouldn’t feel so good if it wasn’t for pain. Death gotta be easy, because life is hard — it’ll leave you physically, mentally and emotionally scarred…”

When: March 29
Why I posted it: OK, maybe this is when I saw ‘GRODT’ again, but either way, I think 50 Cent is highly underrated as a rapper. This song just hits you and this verse is tremendous.
What I obviously meant by it: Obviously, I’m a badass O.G. from the streets.

9. “I speak the truth, but I guess that’s a foreign language to y’all…”

When: March 27
Why I posted it: This may honestly be one of my favorite rap songs of all-time. There are so many verses in this song that I just love. Ironically, I also dated a girl named Tammy. This line is arguably my favorite in the whole song.
What I obviously meant by it: Like I said, obviously, I’m a badass O.G. from the streets.

10. “And I got plenty more to learn if you’s invested in me; they don’t love me for who I am, but who I’m destined to be…”

When: March 24
Why I posted it: I like the song, but love this line.
What I obviously meant by it: Again, obviously I’m trying to subliminally seduce all my female friends via Facebook status by letting them know “I know what them girls like.”