How To Finally Stop Doubting Yourself
When we break down these barriers, we can see that our self-doubt that has directed our lives up until now is just ourselves getting in our own way.
By Matt Wilks
In life, there will inevitably be ebbs and flows throughout your journey where you’ll feel uninspired, heavy-handed, and perhaps even times when you lose your light and glow.
In times like these, we may not know exactly why we’re being tested or why we’re doubting the journey that we’re on. However, it’s so important during these difficult times that we be gentle with ourselves and allow ourselves permission to feel this way, as even the worst feelings and emotions are all just a part of the fabric that is who we are. And that’s okay.
So often we hide away from these feelings. We bury them and chain them to our hearts, without ever really realizing that we’re taking them with us everywhere we go. We take them to work with us when we interact with others. We take them to the people we love when we come home to them. Most of all, we take them with ourselves wherever we may go in life.
In essence, we get to a point where we just can’t turn it off. And in doing so, it becomes just a part of us—a part of who we think we are. But ironically, it’s allowing ourselves to feel the doubt and all of its colors that finally allows us to let it go and realize that although we may feel all the tints and shades of life, we are not those feelings. They are just things we feel, which makes us all human.
Life isn’t about perfection, and it definitely is not about having to feel good all the time. Every single one of us experience self-doubt and our own self-proclaimed insecurities that inherently define our experiences here on this earth.
But at the very same time, these are all narratives that we create for ourselves. Stories that we tell ourselves in order to play the victim card. Because in doing so, we can point the blame elsewhere and anywhere but to ourselves when we don’t accomplish our dreams and aspirations.
But when we’re courageous enough to sit with our feelings—to sit with our emotions and doubt—we can finally realize that it’s okay to feel self-doubt. It’s okay that life is perhaps a little messy and unorganized at times. We all go through patches like these. They are a part of what allows us to appreciate all the good times, because if our experiences were nothing but good ones, we would never fully be present to them.
When we sit with our feelings, we become aware of the words we say to ourselves. And in order to change, we first must bring to light what was once in darkness. What was once not visible to us.
There’s a whole world we so often forget about, and that is our inner world. In other words, the inner dialogue, beliefs, and narratives that guide our outer world. When we finally bring to light what was within, our challenges can feel more like little opportunities to learn and grow, rather than obstacles we need to overcome from without.
When we break down these barriers, we can see that our self-doubt that has directed our lives up until now is just ourselves getting in our own way. At any moment, we can choose otherwise. We can choose to not base our self-worth by what happens outside of us through success or failure, but rather, base it upon how fully we’re living. How in-tune we are with ourselves.
Be kind to yourself during difficult times. Give yourself space to feel, however long that may take. All of us are simply a work in progress, while at the same time, a wonderful masterpiece in the making. Don’t let anything stop you from living as fully and as passionately as you can. Life is far too short not to. We’ve all heard it before, but truly nothing is worth your piece of mind and that includes your own inner demons.
You deserve happiness, confidence, passion, light, and the innate human ability to feel all of life’s textures. Give yourself permission to do so today.