10 Things You Realize When You Allow Yourself To Fall In Love Again

1. You are capable of love. Despite all odds, you can be warm and kind. You are worthy of love, too. You can be a partner to someone, an equal. You aren’t too cold, too jaded or broken. You can love a person with your whole heart and more.

2. Love doesn’t hurt. When you’re really in love with someone, even if they don’t love you back, their wellbeing makes you happy. When they post a picture of a glass of wine or they call you to tell you they finished that really demanding project, it makes YOUR day.

3. Falling in love is awesome. Falling in love does not have to hurt, even if you’re the only one falling. When you fall in love, it’s beautiful and breathes life into you. Falling in love is a memory that you can cherish.

4. Making love is actually a thing. No, it’s not some lame thing people say to get into each other’s pants. Making love is feeling like your soul is intertwined with your partner’s, soul and it’s almost like a religious experience.

5. You will break your own rules. You made rules that you’d never wake up before 7 a.m. for anyone, and now you do. You pride yourself in being a realist, but you catch yourself daydreaming about you and this person on a beach laid up somewhere. it’s okay. You’re in love, rules and pride should be secondary. Live in the moment; love in the moment.

6. Pain is different. The pain you’ve experienced from your past doesn’t sting anymore. Now instead all of the dead sides of you have been nourished and you feel like a breathtaking garden, thanks to the experiences you’ve had with this person. There are days when anxiety overcomes it all and your deepest darkest fears haunt you, but then you remember all the love you feel. It’s the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s your safe haven.

7. It’s not like the movies—it’s better. If you are one of the lucky ones that falls in love with someone who loves you back, it’s much better than anything you’ll ever experience. It’s having picnics in the park, laughing all day, having no boundaries about what you talk about but being comfortable in silence too. And if you are one of the twisted souls that falls in love and takes the leap of faith alone, it’s still great. It’s still beautiful, and it’s still a great chapter in your life—don’t take it for granted.

8. Growth is part of it. If you’re lucky, both of you will grow in this experience. Love makes you want to be better for you and for the other person. It’s wonderful to think back and see how much a person has taught you. Whether they help you find your true calling or teach you how to build a shelf. Sometimes we hit the jackpot and are able to teach one another how to love. Be open and be willing to learn and to grow.

9. You will leave your mark. If you truly allow yourself to fall in love, you will leave pieces of yourself imprinted in their brain and their heart. Likewise, they will do the same for you. This is as real as the scar you got when you were eight from jumping that fence. You can deny feelings until you’re blue in the face, but you can’t deny all of the connections and feelings that loving this person and that their love has done to you.

10. It’s not 50/50. LOVE IS NOT 50/50. Some days it’s 90/10. Some days you don’t want to get out of bed and you can’t stop crying and the other person will pick up the slack. It’s work and dedication and patience. It’s not unicorns and daisies every day. There are days you’ll want to strangle them but you don’t, because you love them more than the desire to do so. But on days where you’re holding hands and walking in a park it won’t matter that you wanted to strangle them last week—and that’s the best part.