Luis Pabon

I want to be the one that ruins you for anybody else.

These days, we don’t do relationships. We do relationSHITS that come in the form of flirtationships, situationships, textationships and infatuationships but not REAL ACTUAL relationships.

All I was to you was a pit stop in your exploration, a post adolescent experiment that ended as quickly as it began.

You will be seen as a sugar daddy.

There is always something vying for our attention, leading us to distraction, forcing our hand to juggle a menagerie of priorities while multi-tasking a series of small tasks in order to make headway in our days.

Things that were indeed apart of my identity were things I tended to overlook constantly. Ironically by overlooking myself, I somehow emitted an energy that enabled others to overlook me as well.

I have gone to many gay bars/clubs where I have literally felt like brother outsider. My brown skin became a liability that interfered with my ability to connect with white patrons.

Does the constant revolving door of meaningless hookups eventually lead to the generalized devaluation of the American gay male? I think so.

As a black and Puerto Rican male, some would wonder why I would opt out of such an important movement considering it is very relevant to my life.

Initially I came to this community searching for love, intimacy and brotherhood. In return, I got shade, infidelity, loneliness and disunity. The self-loathing in this community forces you to encounter a series of broken men who are self-destructive, hurtful, cruel and vindictive towards one another.

Although I am a staunch opponent of the tradition we as Americans call “Thanksgiving”, I find myself becoming increasingly reflective around this time of year.