Lorenzo Jensen III

“I have never felt primal fear like I did after hearing that sound.”

“I remember lying in bed praying to a god (that I didn’t even believe in) that I would just wake up as a girl.”

Found on AskReddit. 1. Came home for lunch one day to surprise her. Surprise was on me as she was in the middle of fucking her coworker on my couch. “Came home for lunch one day to surprise her.

“He started reading the Bible and believed he was the second coming of Jesus Christ. Not joking.”

“I left when I woke up with her hands around my throat.”

“I had a dream I was flying over all of us. There were so many pretty people. So many pretty faces.”

“Any problems we have are largely swept under the rug ’cause we have historically ‘Had it better’ or we are expected to be ‘privileged’ enough to ‘deal with it ourselves.’”

“Losing my hair is a very stressful, very public, slow, strung-out torturous experience.”

“He was bound to a glowing iron throne and a likewise hot iron crown was placed on his head, and he was roasted to death.”

“His room smelled so bad, I mean like a dead pig covered in its own feces that was dropped in a sewer full of dead babies.”

“The lactating woman had a boob out and was filling shot glasses for everybody to drink.”

“Small talk. Please don’t ask me what the weather is like right now.”

“Flint, Michigan. Ugly, the water will kill you, and everyone’s on heroin.”

“Manila, Philippines. It is like everything imagined in some dystopian novel in real life.”

“This creepy face in between my great-grandparents’ heads.”

“Playing with kittens makes you instantly forget about loneliness.”

“Oh gosh the news girl, Jodi Huisentruit has always haunted me…where is her body? Why hasn’t it been found? Sad. And why are there no suspects?”

“I waited until we were both 30, then let him serve me at Burger King.”