Lorenzo Jensen III

“Men are expendable. It’s literally our evolutionary role to stand between the tribe and danger because we’re not the reproductive bottleneck.”

“That no matter what, you can achieve anything you put your mind to. Seventeen years later and I’m still not a Jedi.”

“My cats went crazy at the precise moment my friend was getting killed in a car accident.”

“The scariest and most dangerous thing to encounter out in the wilderness is a person.”

“My mom held my little sister’s hand over a gas stove because she stole Skittles from our kitchen.”

“She threatened to kill me and threatened to tell the police I raped her.”

“Being alone is better than being in a bad relationship. It’s worth waiting for the right person to date, so don’t settle.”

“College student asked me if chocolate milk comes from a brown cow or a black and white cow.”

“My huge, fat, lazy male cat would take hot dogs and go feed them to a stray cat and her kitten.”

His messages turned into things like: ‘You’re being stuck up.’ ‘Such a bitch. Just meet me again and you’ll see.’ ‘Can’t believe you’re treating me like this. I’m so nice.

“I saw an elderly Chinese tourist pull down her grandkid’s pants so he can take a crap on the sidewalk. It was in the entrance of Disneyland in Paris.”

“When he shields your eyes from the morning sun.”