19 Things Men Will NEVER Understand About Women
1. How can you shed so much hair without going bald?
“After living with a woman: where does all that hair come from and why are you not bald?”
2. What the fuck is a decorative towel?
“What the fuck is a decorative towel? If you don’t want me to dry my hands with them, don’t hang 6 ‘decorative towels’ in the kitchen and hide all the ‘real towels’ under the sink.”
3. Why don’t your jeans have pockets?
“Why women’s jeans do not have pockets.”
4. What are we supposed to call your lady bits?
“Ladies, what do you prefer we call your lady bits? Vagina, pussy, clam, angry beaver? Boobs, breasts, tits, bags of sand? I asked my GF, and she doesn’t like any of those answers.”
5. Why can’t you make up your minds?
“1) When my wife asks me what I want to eat, and no matter what I reply, she doesn’t like it and complains I’m not helpful.
2) Or if I ask what she wants to eat, and her reply is, ‘I don’t know, what do you feel like?’ and I get the same result as situation 1.
It’s like my wife is eternally confused on what she wants to eat…”
6. Why are you such pigs in the bathroom?
“How is it that your public restrooms are always dirtier then men’s? I work at a cafe and have to clean, but there’s always seat covers and paper towels all over the floor, and piss in the sink. I’m not complaining too much, it’s my job and all. But just how?”
7. Why are you so flaky?
“This just happened yesterday.
I saw a girl I’ve been friends with for a while on campus for the first time in like 5 months.
We talked for a bit and she said we should get together sometime. I said sure and asked about Friday, she’s busy then and had to go so she told me to text her.
I text her a half hour later asking about Saturday, she waits 20 hours to text me back and says she’s busy then too, give no time when she won’t be busy.
Why would a girl go out of her way to ask me to ask her out, only to basically reject my asking her out?”
8. Why do you get so mad at us?
“Why does my girlfriend get really mad when I’m trying to only make her a little bit mad?”
9. How the hell do you expect to sleep on top of fifty pillows?
“Ladies, how can it possibly make sense to have fifty pillows on the bed or sofa that need to be shoved out of the way to use the bed or sofa for its primary purpose?”
10. Why do you think we can read your minds?
“When my GF thinks something at me and swears she said it to me.
It only proves my point that women share mental telepathy and men don’t.”
11. Why can’t you just say you like us?
“Why can’t they just say they like you?! Why do they gotta turn it into a big mystery case! I’m here wondering to myself if she likes me because she laughs at all my shitty jokes and texts me daily or if it’s just pity. I ask her and she says ‘probably’ ??”
12. What’s with the stupid dog filter?
“Why women are so obsessed with the dog filter selfie on Snapchat.”
13. Why do you always have to be right?
“How I can enter an argument with my wife knowing 100% that I’m in the right yet leave apologizing & wondering how I could ever have been so wrong.”
14. Why can’t you ask US out?
“Dammit girl, ask ME out! Just because you’re nice to me doesn’t mean I’m going to know you’re thatkind of interested. I’m a stereotypical romantically dumb dude. Not to mention assuming a girl is interested when she’s just being friendly can lead to really awkward moments. Ask me out! Doesn’t have to be anything fancy. ‘Hey wanna grab a beer on Thursday?’ Hell yeah I do. Even if it doesn’t go anywhere, being asked out feels amazing.Confidence boost for days.
(This was a real situation, I worked at a bar, and apparently one of the new bartenders was really into me. She didn’t say a thing, I thought she was just a really cool coworker, and I didn’t find out until another bartender told me…after she had already moved away).”
15. Why are y’all so dusty?
“Why are women so dusty?
I am a janitor for an office building that has a very good mix of men and women.
The women’s restroom is about 6x more dusty than the men’s restrooms. They get dusted and cleaned every day. EVERY DAY! And yet, there will be so much more ‘dust’ all over the woman’s restroom. Especially on the back of the toilets. I just don’t get it!”
16. How can you put on makeup on moving vehicles without poking your eye out?
“How women can apply makeup, eyeliner, and lipstick in moving vehicles. I’ve been commuting to work on public transportation (buses and trains) for almost a decade and I’m still astounded at how many women do this flawlessly mid-commute. I’d have stabbed myself in both eyes and would look like a clown if I attempted to do that.”
17. Why can’t you say what you mean?
“Girls always say that men are dumb and they don’t understand the ‘signals,’ so why they keep doing that, why don’t they SAY WHAT THEY WANT TO SAY, SO WE’LL UNDERSTAND.”
18. Why can’t you pick a place to eat?
“Why is it so difficult to decide on a place to eat?”
19. Why do you say you’re ‘fine’ when you’re obviously pissed off?
“When a woman says ‘I’m fine’ but she’s really and clearly not fine, why don’t they tell us what’s wrong so we can solve it? Also is it just universal amongst women that ‘fine’ is the exact word to use if you want to make sure your boyfriend knows its not ‘fine’? Rather than ‘I’m alright’ or ‘I’m good’ etc.”
