Employees Gone Wild: 40 Insane Things Workers Did That Got Them Fired
"He put his hands in his pants, scratched his crotch, and told a customer to smell his fingers."
1. He slashed my tire after I told him to go work.
“He slashed my tire after I told him to go work instead of sitting in the break room.”
—SgtDefective2
2. He put his hands in his pants, scratched his crotch, and told a customer to smell his fingers.
“Worked at Jamba Juice, coworker put bare hands into his pants and scratched his crotch at the register while helping a guest. When the guest commented he put his fingers in his face and said ‘Smell it.’”
—honey_tarot
3. He laid his penis on a wheel of cheese, took a picture, and sent it to some coworkers.
“A former friend of mine worked at a cheese factory. He laid his penis on a wheel of cheese, took a picture, and sent it to some coworkers. The pic found it’s way to the manager who fired my then friend on the spot.”
—Molakar
4. Had an employee pull a gun on me.
“Had an employee pull a gun on me, this was after he was fired for threatening another at a tier 1 help desk. Made everyone uncomfortable the entire time he was there. He’s still in jail, it’s been about 8 years now.”
—lostinthesauce99
5. He was smoking crack with bums in the park while he was supposed to be at work.
“One of our delivery drivers was supposed to be training a new employee, basically driving around and introduce them to routes and customers and that type of thing.
Well, he told the new driver to just drop him off at the park down the street and when my boss drive the 15 seconds to the park, he was smoking crack with bums. Literally smoking crack cocaine with bums at the park.”
—StucktownSkeezer
6. He rubbed a pregnant coworker’s belly three times after being asked to stop and then asked her if her husband was good at the sex.
“Rubbing a pregnant coworker’s belly three times after being asked to stop and then asking her if her husband was good at the sex.
I fired him and he asked if we could still be friends. (No) He then tried to file for unemployment after only working there for 3 weeks, part time.”
—krch36
7. He passed a female coworker a note at work one day with a gob of hand lotion inside it and the words, ‘I got really excited thinking about you earlier.’.
“Guy had a crush on a female coworker. He passed her a note at work one day with a gob of hand lotion inside it and the words, ‘I got really excited thinking about you earlier.’
Girl freaked out. Went to management. Guy got escorted out.”
—WithGravy
8. She got drunk on her lunch break, flipped her car, went to jail, mugshot with our company logo on her shirt.
“I had an employee who got drunk on her lunch break, flipped her car, went to jail, mugshot with our company logo on her shirt. Perfect.”
—DrCubby07
9. He made fun of the General Manager’s handicapped son.
“In auto sales—one of our salesmen always seemed to be up to something. Between all lying to customers, drug abuse and constant fighting at home he was impossible to manage. Unfortunately he was the type that gave the rest of us a bad name. Eventually he got in to it with our GSM (about several issues) and his GO TO was to start making fun of our GSM’s handicapped son.
I had so much respect for our GSM. He took him in an office, told him he was terminated and walked out even though I know inside he was boiling with rage.
Glad he’s gone.”
—daaabears223
10. He beat up his girlfriend in the parking lot.
“Beating his girlfriend in the parking lot. He was quite shocked when I had him placed under arrest and pressed charges. Guy was a fucking twat.”
—teqnicolor_fox
11. She completely wrecked a company apartment.
“I was part of a group of IT contractors together for a large international project. The client would get us apartments to live in at each implementation site for 6-12 months. A member of my team got into a disagreement with the CTO when he came to visit our site, which resulted in her screaming personal attacks at him in the hallway when he tried to step outside to de-escalate the argument. She was fired on the spot, but then proceeded to go back to the apartment provided by the company and completely wreck it. The site was in the middle of the desert and she had opened all of the windows/doors, turned the AC on max, stopped all of the drains and turned the water on, threw red nail polish all over the bathroom…it was the most extreme breakdown in a professional environment I’d ever seen.”
—83-Edition
12. He shut the pizza shop down five hours before closing time.
“I work in pizza delivery and we had a guy back in the day (fellow manager) who tried to shut down the store five hours before the time that corporate set for us to close. He clocked every person out and sent them home and then just refused to take the phone calls or anything like that. He was fired immediately after our boss found out and he even tried to come into work the next day like everything was fine.”
—MAZ0N
13. He was Snapchatting as he drove an ambulance with a crew member and patient in the back, through an intersection during a red light.
“I once had an employee Snapchatting as he drove an ambulance with a crew member and patient in the back, through an intersection during a red light.”
—kingforpres
14. He led police on a high-speed chase during work hours.
“A coworker of mine who was a little bit too into his car got snapped doing twice the speed limit. Instead of pulling over for the patrol car behind him, he decided to run for it. He led a police chase to the office and shook them off by hiding in the underground parking.
The GM watched it happen from his office. He took the lift down, found coworker’s car and told him not to bother getting out.”
—I_throw_socks_at_cat
15. He was a restaurant server and told a female customer ‘shut up your fucking kids.’
“I wasn’t the manager, but watched the whole thing happen. A few years ago I worked at a restaurant and we had kind of an annoying new hire. One of those, ‘I’m too good for this’ types. It was this kid’s first job and first day out of training. One of his tables was a family with two small children, who were being obnoxious, but hey, it’s a family restaurant that’s expected. While walking away from the table he muttered something along the lines of, ‘shut up your fucking kids.’ Except he didn’t actually mutter, he spoke at a normal volume. The mother overheard and was not pleased. He was sent home, and invited to not return.”
—ann-ette
16. I had to fire a tech on her first day for drinking vodka in the employee bathroom at 9 AM.
“Physician office. I had to fire a tech on her first day for drinking vodka in the employee bathroom at 9 AM. I think she had a problem.
She reeked of alcohol and actually threw the empty in the trash!
I understand alcoholism and live with a sober alcoholic wife (11 years clean). My wife actually took her to a few meetings as the two-hour employee didn’t have a valid driver’s license.”
—Eyezog
17. I fired my brother after finding out he lost us a $1 million contract because of his meth addiction.
“I had to send a guy to a remote gas/petroleum refinery site for an inspection, previously he had been reliable on most occasions.
However on this occasion he never showed up for the pre-drug/alcohol test the day before he had to fly out and gave me a long winded excuse basically blaming his car troubles. At this point I would have gone myself to site however I was just back from a bone graft to my collarbone so I wasn’t going anywhere. The director made the final decision to send him anyway against my recommendations.
We flew him to site to do his onsite induction, where he would do the D&A test anyway. Part way through his induction he got up and left…. I call him that night but never got an answer, so I checked with his accommodation and the hotel claimed he had checked in within the last 1/2 hr. I was just glad nothing major had happened. Next morning i speak to the client and the client informs me that the staff member apologized for leaving abruptly and had to rush of and deal with some personal issues. I don’t press it any longer, two hours goes by and I get a call from the client stating that they’ve kicked him off site because they’ve found him asleep on site and when they woke his he became extremely aggressive.
The client is furious about this and says we’re a cowboy of an operation for sending someone like this and to fly someone up the next day to finish the job. That night we have a conference call with the client stating that were no longer going to be working for them due to this issue, costing our company roughly $1 mill from the loss of the contract.
We bring him the day after he fly’s back to ask about his actions, I’m suppose to head this up and get his side of the story except before we even get into really discussing things my director asks ‘If we are to drug test you today would you fail?’ he answers ‘yes’ and he was told he’s being terminated instantly, he starts yelling at the top of his lungs and blaming his actions on everyone else. I told him he needs to leave straight away or police will get called. He does, he leaves then for the next month our admin receive emails about how i’m terrible at my job and i should be fired for not listening to his problems (which he had never spoken to me about).
So yeah that was the day I fired my brother and found out he was addicted to meth.”
—PSiren66
18. I gave her a document and she tossed it like a Frisbee into her traschcan.
“I gave my secretary a document that I wanted incorporated into a letter I had written, and she shucked the document like a Frisbee into her trashcan. It was literally my only copy so I had to walk over and fish it out. That was her last day.”
—SandmanD2
19. He passed out in a customer’s driveway with a glass pipe on his chest.
“Had an employee pass out in his truck in a customer’s driveway. Customer called me to report, said employee had a glass pipe on his chest. Luckily guy decides to call me instead of the sheriff. Employee was picked up and brought back to shop.
When asked what was going on he stated, ‘I was on break, it wasn’t weed it just spice.’
Sorry bud, I don’t think this is gonna work out.”
—tythepoolguy
20. He stole another employee’s ID and cashed that person’s check with it.
“My husband is a manager and his employee somehow had another employee’s ID and then stole that person’s check and cashed it.
Caught it all on camera.
She still denied it.”
—Darksecretbox
21. She drank vodka from a plastic water bottle while on the job.
“Had an employee (a nurse) who was drinking on the job. Snuck vodka in a plastic water bottle. We became suspicious when she began behaving erratically. Then we noticed that the was super possessive of her bottle and never let it leave her sight or let anyone else near it. She messed up and left it at her desk when she went to the bathroom, so we sniffed it and she was busted. Hot mess, that woman was.”
—BronzeVicious
22. He broke his hand on the boss’s desk during a loud disagreement.
“Years back a coworker got into some trouble for something and got called into the owner’s office. Few mins later you hear a huge thump, idiot broke his hand on the boss’s desk during their disagreement. He got a police escort off the property.”
—Makersacres
23. He smoked crack during lunch break but justified it because he was on break.
“My construction company was building a new addition on a hospital. One morning, the president of the hospital called to inform me that he had just watched one of our laborers smoke crack in his truck while on break. Went to the job site, talked to the kid. He said ‘ya I was, but I waited ’til break time.’
You aren’t supposed to drive your personal vehicle to the job site for liability reasons. Oh yeah, and you’re not supposed to smoke crack. Even on break.
We’ve had some winners over the years, but that kid took the cake.”
—goyotes78
24. He would overcharge customers for soda and then pocket the difference.
“Had a guy that would ring up dine-in orders with five sodas (the amount that the people ordered), but then before they cashed out, he’d remove all but one or two and would pocket the difference. He would give them the first copy and since of course that’s what they ordered, they never said anything. When he realized they would be paying cash, he’d change it. I realized it one day as he was fired.”
—DizzyedUpGirl
25. He took a contract, wiped his junk all over it, and stuck it in the secretary’s inbox.
“Was going over security footage.
Saw an employee that didn’t want to sign their contract take it, sign it, stick it down the front of his pants and wipe it around on his junk, then stick it in the secretary’s inbox.
Contract was burned, in box was disinfected, employee was fired.”
—at132pm
26. He punched his supervisor and then made a run for it.
“Punching his supervisor and then making a run for it. He had permanent residence pending and wound up deported. Must have pretty bad anger management issues to throw your whole life away over not wanting to switch departments for a week.”
—GiantCuddle
27. He pooped his pants and then got it all over the office.
“One of our warehouse workers was a young man about 25 years old. He was suspected of having a drug problem, mostly because of absenteeism and that he just seemed off at times. One day, he called our office manager from the back parking lot of our building and said that he had an upset stomach and had pooped in his pants. She told him she would try to find a change of clothes to bring out to him, but before she could, he ran into the building and into the bathroom off the lobby, trailing poop smeared on his shoes onto the floor. He then took off the poop pants and left them in the bathroom and ran back outside to his car. At that point, everyone else in the small office was running outside to escape the horrible smell. Our office manager found a pair of pants in someone’s locker and took them to where the guy was parked, but turned around when she saw him standing beside his car with no pants or underwear on. While everyone else was figuring out how to deal with the poop in the office, the guy got in his car and left. He showed back up 3 days as if nothing had happened. He was told to head on back home. I could never figure out why he ran inside. If you poop in your pants, wouldn’t you just get in your car and drive home?”
28. He was dealing crack from the back of the restaurant.
“One employee was dealing crack from the back.
Another was high on heroin and nodding off while standing over a fryer.
Another went off on a (admittedly) rude customer and got real mean ‘Your wife must be sorry she married you…’
One called me a n***** (I’m white) and spat at me when I confronted him about the fact that his dad came in to say hi to him when he was out of work because his “dad had a heart attack and was in the hospital.”
And one just sat in the dining room and refused to go back to work because a hockey game was on TV.
Restaurant management is fun :-|”
—bitcornonthecob
29. He set a paper-packing machine on fire because it got stuck.
“Setting a paper packing machine on fire because it got stuck.
Machine is for compressing recycled paper then sliced off automatically to use as strips of filling during packing. It can get stuck sometimes especially if you make short strips of filling.
Warehouseman got it stuck one day and could not dislodge it so he thought it would be a good idea to burn it because its paper. It’s next to a large propane tank (47kg). Fire ensues, lucky the tank didn’t get caught.
Then he threw a bucket of water to quench the fire. Machine was still plugged in and powered.
After, he decided to try and dislodge it again by sticking his hand into the automatic slicer.
He was safe in the end, but never turned up to work the next day.
TLDR: Set fire on a paper machine next to a propane tank, then threw water at a powered machine to quench the fire and stuck his finger into slicing bit of the wet-powered machine. Luckiest/dumbest man I’ve ever seen.”
—imonflyar
30. He smacked his girlfriend while on break.
“I hired a new server and a few hours into his shift he took a break. I get a phone call from the owner of the motel across the street a few minutes later. He apparently got into an argument with his GF and smacked her, the motel owner saw this and confronted him and he pointed at his car and said he had a machete in there and if she didn’t mind her business he would cut her head off with it. Needless to say he was fired on the spot.
The next day the convenience store across the street hired him. My wife was walking by and he threatened her in front of his new coworkers, we know the owners well, called them, and he was again fired on the spot. Thankfully we never saw the psycho again.”
—Windbelow616
31. He showed up to his first day of work absolutely high as a kite and wearing no shirt.
“I worked at a computer repair shop. This dude showed up to his first day of work absolutely high as a kite and wearing no shirt. He had no explanation for why he didn’t have a shirt.
I told him to go home and not to come back. I wasn’t even technically a manager, I was just the only one working that day besides him. So technically I didn’t have the authority to fire him, but damned if I didn’t do it anyway.
My theory is he thought his shirt smelled like weed so he threw it away on the way in.”
—FF3LockeZ
32. He started pumping iron at his desk with a Rambo knife held between his teeth.
“Dotcom boom, maybe 1999? tech startup, hustlin’ pixels. massive expansion, basically hiring anyone on the spot. unsure how this wanker made it through, because he was A Man of Many Red Flags, but he shows up for his 2nd day in overalls (most people were snappily dressed). sits down, unpacks his rather large duffel, pulls out a legit Rambo knife and two huge dumbbells.
Proceeds to start workin’ his biceps at his desk, with the knife in his teeth.
Cops escorted him out…”
—theSchmoozer
33. She called in sick, then posted pics on social media of herself at a pool.
“Had a girl call in and say she was terribly sick. She’s friends with me and the other two bosses on social media. An hour after calling out she posts pics of herself at a local pool. Smh. Don’t post that shit if your boss can see it!”
—UnparallelDharma
34. He tried selling crack to another employee, saying it’s a ‘natural’ high.
“Had an employee offer crack to another employee at a ‘really good rate’ per gram and then proceed to tell him all about the health benefits and how it was a ‘natural’ high.
We investigated. Turns out this wasn’t the first time he offered.”
—thefoolosipher
35. He loudly called a customer a Jew, insinuating they were cheap.
“I wasn’t the manager at the time, but I witnessed a good one. After a customer left the store, my coworker loudly called them a Jew, insinuating that they were cheap (they didn’t go for her up-sell). It was her second day. Fired on the spot.”
—snakeantlers
36. The delivery boy answered his personal cell phone with ‘Tony’s Abortion Clinic. You make ’em, we scrape ‘em’ in front of customers and our very religious boss.
“Not the manager, just witnessed the firing.
The delivery boy answered his personal cell phone with ‘Tony’s Abortion Clinic. You make ’em, we scrape ‘em’ in front of customers and our very religious boss. It went over well /s.”
—dredreidel
37. He went up to a pregnant hourly associate and told her ‘you’re pregnant right? That means I can fuck you without a condom and don’t have to worry about it.’
“I managed a warehouse. One of my recently promoted salaried leaders (used to be hourly) let the position get to his head. Went up to a pregnant hourly associate and told her ‘you’re pregnant right? That means I can fuck you without a condom and don’t have to worry about it.’ The complete and total delusion of this asshole to think this could ever be OK…I’m still floored. Needless to say, he was fired very quickly.”
—-antipas-
38. Our cook wrote his phone number on a thirteen-year-old girl’s burger wrapper.
“A father came to my restaurant with his daughter, and the cook wrote his phone number on the girl’s burger wrapper. The girl ended up being 13. Dad was PISSED, rightfully so. Cook got fired right then and there.”
—throwaway4noreasons
39. He asked an overweight female customer if she was wearing a fat suit.
“I managed a bowling center for about 10 years. I hired a kid who’d never had a job before, and he was a little on the ‘odd’ side, but he seemed pretty smart, so I took a chance on him. About a month into his employment, a very very large woman came in with her family. This kid couldn’t believe how big she was. He kept insisting to everyone that it was a costume, ‘that HAS to be a fat suit,’ he kept saying. He wouldn’t give it up. He then decided to get the truth… he walked up to this poor woman in front of her entire family, and asked her, ‘are you really that fat, or is it just a costume?’
I’ve never been so dumbfounded in my life. He was suspended immediately, and terminated after the HR investigation.
The woman was so upset, she ended up getting some pretty hefty compensation from the hotel, which was much deserved.”
—iTheAnarchist
40. She was 6’7” and sexually harassed male employees by bragging that she had sex with dogs.
“I worked at an amusement park with over 200 employees working under me and I can give you so many examples. But one takes the cake.
It was a sexual harassment case, but like nothing you’ve seen. It was a guy accusing a girl, she was about 6’7″ and the size of Andre the Giant, looked like him too. Both were employees. In the end two guys accused her but at first there was only one.
He claimed she had been talking about having sex with him and saying super inappropriate shit to him despite him saying no. Well this kept happening and today she went too far and he had to stop it. Now for documentation and for talking to her it helps if we know as many details as possible so we asked him for more details if he was comfortable with sharing. He wasn’t at first but then decided to tell us.
She started off with her usual, said something along the lines of ‘I’m gonna fuck you real dirty.’ He asks her to stop, she then continues on with something like ‘Do you know how dirty I am?’ He said asks her to stop.
They she says it, ‘I’ve fucked my dog.’ Just straight face, drops that interesting tidbit. The guy said he went and threw up.
We interviewed two others, both had similar crazy shit they had overheard or been told, one had also been told about the dog. When we interviewed the girl, she didn’t deny anything and just left. Next day someone found her Twitter bio said Dog Physical Therapist. If you’d known her or seen her, she definitely is not any sort of physical therapist. The whole thing still haunts me.”
—Thehusseler 
