21 People Describe Their Real-Life Sexual Encounters That Sound Like The Plot To A Porno Movie

“A few years ago I was staying in a mental ward, and we were on lockdown. She sneaked into my room and f*cked the crazy out of me.”

By

21 People Describe Their Real-Life Sexual Encounters That Sound Like The Plot To A Porno Movie
Darius Bashar
Found on AskReddit.

1.  I was staying in a mental ward, and we were on lockdown. She sneaked into my room and fucked the crazy out of me.

“A few years ago I was staying in a mental ward, and we were on lockdown. She sneaked into my room and fucked the crazy out of me. Seriously. Best sex of my life.

Stick your dick in crazy.”

beast_nuts


2. She asked me to come her house to ‘have look at her computer.’ She didn’t even own a computer.

“She wanted me to come to her house to ‘have a look at her computer.’ I went to her house. She didn’t even own a computer.”

CompetitivePumpkin 


3. I invited the Pita Pit delivery driver in to smoke a bowl. Wound up getting my pita for free.

“I once answered the door at 1:45 am for the Pita Pit delivery driver. I was shit faced and 18, invited him in to smoke a bowl. It was super awkward just like a porn, and we ended up fucking because I was his last delivery. Wasn’t super great, but I got my pita for free. Shout out to Pita Pit.”

Her_Bitch


4. I’m a plumber. She called for some plumbing service and I went over there and…um…cleaned her pipes.

“When I was a plumber, I did some work for a single gal. Later that night I got a call from the service saying that there was a call back at her place. Headed over there and turns out everything was fine, she just wanted to bone. One of the best one-night stands ever! Never saw her again.”

Walker2012


5. Pay phone rings at Navy base. I pick it up.…’Hello, are you a sailor?’

“Walking across a Navy base in the early 90s when the payphone next to me starts ringing. I answer it, and it’s a girl asking if I’m a sailor.

We chatted for 15 minutes, she gave me her address, and I headed to her place.

Worst sex of my life. Definitely not worth the time and even negligible effort.”

ronearc


6. Tattooed girl sucked and swallowed while her boyfriend was in the next room knowing what was happening.

“I was 22, living in a big city, and enjoying life. My roommate and I decided to go have some beers with a friend of my roommate’s. Since I never met this friend, I did not know what to expect. She ends up getting to the bar we were supposed to meet at and I instantly get the vibe that this friend and my roommate have some sexual tension, so I leave and grab a drink by myself so I can let them have their alone time.

Time passes and this girl comes up to me. Tattooed from head to toe. Some even on the face, but she was attractive! I was 22 and had nothing to lose. We started chatting and drinks are flowing as I was reasonably drunk at this point. One thing led to another, and she says to me, ‘I want to suck your dick.’ I was taken aback. I’ve never had anyone come on to me this blunt before so I was ecstatic! I obviously say yes and we head to her apartment.

She shuffled me into her room, which meant we had to cross the living room. This is where it gets weird. There’s some dude in the living room and he just looks at me, I look at him, and me and the girl just continue into the room. I was thinking this dude was her roommate or whatever so I carried on.

The second we get into her room, she starts going to town. It was wild. I’m enjoying this and thinking ‘I peaked, this is it.’ After a couple seconds, she stops, whips out a bag of coke, puts a sloppy line on my shaft, and just does a fucking line off my dick. I was staring in utter shock. Was I dreaming? Did this just happen? WTF?!

Anyway, she finished the line, and continued and it was still amazing. I’m about to finish, and as I’m about to finish, she deep-throats me and I’m in fucking heaven. As I start to cum, without my knowledge, and with laser fucking precision, she rams her index finger in my asshole. It’s like she was a sniper. She instantly knew where my brown eye was. So here I am, with my dick in this girl’s throat, a finger up my butt where nothing has gone up before, and pants around my ankles. The feeling I felt is indescribable.

Mouth is wide open. How do I react!? Well, she swallows, gets up, looks me in the eye, and says ‘get out.’ I swear to you, I have never put on my pants quicker than this. I jolt out of there, walk past the dude in the living room, and THE FUCKING DUDE says ‘Ya know, that’s my girlfriend.’ Again, mouth open, and I just run back outside. Texted my friend saying I had to scram, called an Uber, then went home in the most shameful state of mind I have ever been in.

tl;dr: tattooed girl who was up front sucked my dick, fingered my basement door, and swallowed all while the boyfriend was in the next room knowing what was happening.”

fingersniperforbutts


7. Girl thought I was her best friend’s boyfriend, who she was crushing on. When she found out I wasn’t, she fucked me just to fulfill the fantasy.

“I once had a woman at a bar mistake me for someone else. The guy was the boyfriend of her best friend. She thought I was being a total jerk blowing her off like I didn’t know her until I showed her my ID. She showed me a picture in her phone and my god, the guy was like a twin.

After finding out I wasn’t this guy, she said that she always had a fantasy of getting with that guy. She was really attractive to me and so we hooked up. It was so freaking weird. She called me that guy’s name, I didn’t care because I was going through a dry spell at the time.”

bpdexter85


8. She walked in, sat in my lap, kissed me, and said ‘when he is asleep, come to my room.’

“Sexy girl-next-door who ALSO happened to be my best friend’s sister. I was hanging out with my friend and, when he went into the bathroom, she walked in, sat in my lap, kissed me, and said ‘when he is asleep, come to my room.’

We are married now. Happy endings happen, folks.”

TheClassroomComedian


9. Two girls walk up to me in a bar and ask, ‘what would you say if two ladies wanted to play with you?’

“I was drinking at a bar minding my own business. Two women start chatting with me. We do a few shooters, I crack some jokes. Then they ask ‘what would you say if two ladies wanted to play with you?’ I responded ‘break out the toys, let’s go!’ We slammed our beers, paid tabs, took a cab to their place and had a lot of sex. The whole thing felt like a porn movie.

When I left a couple hours later with a beer in hand from their fridge. Realized I was in an unfamiliar part of town, found a convenience store and took a cab home.

10/10 would threesome again.”

keepcalmdude


10.  She took her arms and brushed everything off the desk, sat on it, and beckoned me over.

“I was living in Australia for a bit after graduating from college here in the US. I was invited to a big, fancy house party after the Melbourne Cup horse races. For those who don’t know, its a massive event similar in scope to the Kentucky Derby where everyone is dressed up but parties pretty aggressively.

I was in Oz to play a sport and the friend who invited me to the party mentioned this while introducing me to some folks, including an absolutely gorgeous, recently divorced woman (and mother of 2) who was about 45? She didn’t believe me and requested that we go inside to the home’s study to ‘Google me’ and prove it.

I innocently agreed, thinking she was legitimately curious. We got into the study and she literally took her arms and brushed everything off the desk, sat on it and beckoned me over. Absolutely wild, passionate session followed. Up to that point, I had only been with girls my age or younger, but I now realize what people mean when they say that the MILF types are demons in the sack.

The (somewhat raunchy, but too good to not include) kicker? Right afterwards she goes, ‘Ooooohhh, that was the mother load.’ That line could be the greatest thing anyone has ever said to me, considering she was a mother.”

westosterone


11. She comes downstairs naked with $20 in her hand.

“I had something happen with a 40-ish year old lawyer. We were on speaking terms and both regulars at happy hour at the local bar. One day it’s snowing a shit ton outside and she asks me if I’ll shovel her driveway for her for like 20 bucks. No problem. She gives me the address and I head over and shovel the drive. She then pulls up. Mentions she spent the cash on her at the bar and that she had cash inside. Innocently I am like yeah sure I’ll step inside. She comes downstairs with money in hand and nothing else. First time with an older woman and wow.”

tenshillings


12. One of them asks if I’ve ever been with two girls at the same time.

“I was out at a bar with a few friends and we were gonna head home but it was still pretty early in the night so I got on Tinder and threw out a few messages to see if anyone was down to hang out. Some chick replied with her address so I went over there and we worked our way to the basement. Side note she was wearing an AC/DC shirt and I’m a HUGE AC/DC fan. So we chat for a while and about 10 minutes in her roommate comes downstairs and starts chatting with us. Next thing I know one of them asks if I’ve ever been with two girls at the same time, I say no. Next thing I know I’m having a threesome with 2 chicks, while the album Back in Black is playing, it was possibly the greatest night of my life and I will never forget it.”

STLJagsfan1996


13. I take her in my house, bend her over the arm of the couch and fuck her hard…still haven’t said a word to her or her to me.

“Lots of alcohol in this story. Panama City FL in the early 90s…yeah I’m old. I had a house on the beach (rented) and my buddy in the house next door had a party. It was a full-on rager, lots of neighbors coming over and people we didn’t know coming in off the beach. I’m completely blitzed and a girl grabs me and we start dancing…the music is super loud, too loud to speak to each other…plus I’m drunk af. We dance for a bit and she grabs my hand and pulls me outside, onto the back porch. We start kissing…we still haven’t said a word to each other. I move her off the porch and toward my house next door, kissing and groping the whole way, still not talking to each other. I take her in my house, bend her over the arm of the couch and fuck her hard…still haven’t said a word to her or her to me. Lots of moaning though :). She came, but I couldn’t…whiskey dick. Still not a word, she turns around and kneels in front of me and blows me for 10-15 minutes, I came and she swallowed it all and cleaned me up. I stumbled to the kitchen to get her some water, and when I turned around she was smiling at me from the back door as she slid it closed and walked into the dark. I went back to the party but she wasn’t there. My buddy asked me what her name was and I said ‘yeah…about that…’”

mixgasdivr


14. She would often text a few of us at work to see if we wanted any fast food. But one day, I responded to her ‘want anything?’ text with ‘a nice set of boobs.’

“Lonely housewife.

I was in college and we worked together. It was a night job for her and a part time gig for me. A nice lady in her early 40’s who was always kind of flirty with the girls that worked there but never any men. ON her way in for her shift she would often text a few of us to see if we wanted any fast food. I usually politely declined. Except one day, and I have no idea why, but I responded to her ‘want anything?’ text with ‘a nice set of boobs.’ It was the best thing a 21-year-old me could come up with. Damn, it did it work. That instantly turned into flirty texting and then outright dirty texting of her sending random nudes she had on her phone. We eventually meet up in a parking lot and she performs oral on me like a champ. We continue to randomly hook up over the next few weeks. I’d text her when I was drunk or her me when she was horny. She’d come meet me in her husband’s lifted truck and I’d fuck her in the back seat. It was a wild few months. Things got weird when she started telling me how she hated her husband, and while he was a good father he was kind of a shitty husband. Again at 21 I didn’t have the mental capacity to deal with that and started ghosting her texts. She ended up leaving him and getting an apartment of her own. I went over once and ended up fucking her on one of her kids’ beds (they weren’t home) and I left feeling really dirty about the entire situation. She left our mutual job a few months later and we never really spoke again. This was around 10 years ago, and I look back on it from time to time and think what a weird situation that was, but at the same time what a fun one. Being a 21-year-old kid with not much sexual experience being able to text this woman at any time of the day to meet up was amazing. She was super sexual and, as cheesy as it sounds, taught me a lot sexually. Thanks for the memories, lady.”

PM_ME_YOUR_WORK_NUDES


15. I remember at one point watching her on top of him in front of the fireplace and it was like straight out of a movie.

“So I’m 18, a virgin, a freshman in college and I’ve got these older rock-climbing friends from my hometown. Both are pretty attractive, and they’ve just started dating. I go visit them for a weekend and they take me to a house party. We all end up getting pretty drunk on this delicious apple pie moonshine and a few things come to light.

1.The guy used to have a crush on me

2.The girl is bi and also used to have a crush on me

3.I think both of them are hot af

We pretty quickly split from the party and head back to her (really nice) place and just go to town on each other, all three of us, all over the house. Like every room.

I remember at one point watching her on top of him in front of the fireplace and it was like straight out of a movie. Hands down sexiest moment I’ve ever experienced.

Recently they got married…interestingly, I was not invited.”

_john_at_the_bar_


16. I walked in the room to see my girlfriend going down on a gorgeous blonde who we both hardly knew.

“My girlfriend and I had been dating for 8 months at this point. We are very open with one another, and she always would tell me she was into women as well. I never thought anything of it. Just figured she had a few flings here and there. Cut to the chase, we are having a party at our apartment and everyone is very wasted. Old friends are there, as well as some people we don’t really know, but everything is copacetic. Next thing I know, I’m standing there with a beer in my hand, in the hallway, and my girlfriend’s head pops out of the bathroom and she beckons me in. I imagined a quickie, but walked in to her going down on a gorgeous blonde who we both hardly knew and I looked on dumbstruck. As I stood there, beer still in hand, wondering what to do, the blonde puts out her hand, and it’s on. Within a few minutes of everything you imagine I walk out of the bathroom and tell everyone they gotta go. They all think we got in an argument, but no, this is my first chance at a threesome. Everyone leaves and we have a magical evening. No weirdness, just all around fun and completely mutual end. We sleep in the same bed and the girl quietly leaves in the morning, leaving her number. No jealousy, no feelings, just a ‘well that was fun, see you guys soon!’ Has happened a few times since. Still cool. I’m a lucky guy.”

Rasheed_Wallace_


17. Double-teamed a girl while her boyfriend was on the other side of the wall making tea, oblivious to what was going on.

“We used to know a girl who fetish-ed Asian dudes and looked like Kate Upton. Every chance we got, we’d poke fun at her and she’d flirt back.

After a few months of knowing her, she invited me and my buddy (both Asian Fuccbois at the time) to where she lived an hour away to hang out with her and her boyfriend.

However, as the weekend came, she revealed that she had broken up with him and that he would be sleeping in the living room while my friend and I could sleep on the floor of her bedroom.

The night comes and we have a great time dancing, drinking, and being merry before walking back to her place to discuss coffee, hipster shit, etc.

At this point, it’s like 3am and we hear the ex-boyfriend come home. He starts to make noise in the kitchen which is on the other side of our friend’s bedroom. For whatever reason, she immediately takes that as a cue to start kissing me, then kissing my buddy, while the three of us get undressed.

I wish I had porn-esque video evidence in cross section format where the camera can see the ex-boyfriend nonchalantly making tea on one side of the wall, and us making his ex-girlfriend loudly tap out on the other.”

i_am_very_sMaRt


18. Best friend’s mom. Started when I was 16 and she was 35.

“Best friend’s mom. Started when I was 16 and she was 35. I had known her from the time I was 13/14.

She randomly called me one night and asked if I could come over because my friend and his siblings were gone camping and she felt nervous home alone.

I went and things escalated in less than half an hour. Went on for 5-6 years, no one ever found out.”

justanotherperve


19. Picked up a girl in church. We left before the ceremony ended and went to her apartment.

“I don’t know if this counts. I was attending a church service once and during the big group service I was sitting next to a super hot tiny Filipina. We made eye contact and I smiled. She smiled back. During a lull in the service she scoots closer and whispered seductively that she was really attracted to me.
I decided to be gutsy and just said, ‘Let’s go.’ So we left before the service ended and fucked at her apartment. It was one of the fastest hookups I had ever experienced. I later found out she was in a relationship so I wasn’t thrilled about finding out I was the other man.”

TheChickener


20. She told me about her shitty marriage and that she just needed to feel wanted and be touched again.

“Lonely housewife story.

This was a number of years ago, I met a woman in a Yahoo! chatroom and we started talking and emailing back and forth. That progressed to texting. She told me about her shitty marriage and that she just needed to feel wanted and be touched again.

Against my better judgement, I took a shot and asked her if we could meet somewhere and talk. She seemed ready for me to ask and invited me to a McDonald’s near her house for lunch.

I got there and went in and saw her. She bought me lunch and we sat down and started talking. The talk got hotter and hotter and she finally invited me to come home with her, she said her husband had left for work a few hours ago and was working a 16-hour shift, we could be alone. I agreed and off we went.

We got to her place and sat on the couch and talked for a bit, picking up where we had left off in the McDonald’s. Pretty soon I could tell she was really turned on, so I leaned in and kissed her.

The kiss set her off like a firework. Before I could hardly move she was wearing only her panties and we were making out like teenagers. I started rubbing her through her panties and she laid back and begged me to finger her. I did and when she came, she squirted. A lot. Enough to totally soak the couch cushion all the way through.

I had never been with a squirter before so I was quite fascinated. I made her do it again a few times and then she got me off onto her tits. She said she was going to shower and then had some stuff to do, I took the hint and left. She messaged me later that night full of regret and said that we shouldn’t have done that. I agreed that she was probably right. She asked me not to contact her again and I said OK and thanked her for the good time.

A few days later I got a text from her and we wound up fucking again, followed by her having another guilty attack and breaking it off. This became a pattern that lasted a couple of years, whenever she texted me I knew I was getting laid. It was a good time.

It ended when she and her husband moved a few states away, we emailed for a while and then things dropped off and one day we just stopped communicating. We haven’t talked for a few years now but I still think about her sometimes.”

NorthSideBill1


21. She drives me to the subway station parking lot. I give her a kiss…and BOOM. She’s full-on super-horny. Immediately grabs my dick and pulls it out.

“Lonely housewife (Korean woman). Not really lonely. More just hated her husband’s guts. They both hated each other. He knew about me. Told her to divorce him so she could fuck me. They both agreed to divorce. We met through a chat app. Had no intentions towards her. She started talking about her problems. I was sympathetic. We meet up one day. We just talk, have tea, get some food. We go back to her car. She drives me to the subway station parking lot. I give her a kiss…and BOOM. She’s full-on super-horny. Immediately grabs my dick and pulls it out of my pants and gives me the best blowjob I’ve ever experienced in my life. I have literally…never been that hard before in my life. And…she’s also the only Korean woman I’ve ever met that was able to let me titty fuck her. I’d say she was probably a D cup all natural, which is super rare in Korea. I’m fingering her and she cums in just a few minutes. Sucks me off and swallows every last drop. It was amazing. We met again a week later. We actually had sex that time. Again….best pussy I’ve ever felt in my life. Came inside her. She’s the dirtiest talking nastiest woman I’ve ever met. And she didn’t care that people were passing by watching us get it on in the car. I assume security got a good look too. One of the cameras was aimed straight at us. I’m not there now. But she goes to the parking garage and masturbates while thinking about me now. By the way…it was all in the back seat of a damned Kia Morning. No damned room.”

TroAwehMan Thought Catalog Logo Mark