50 Signs You Might Be A Hipster…
1.
“If your bike is older than you are, you might be a hipster.”
2.
“If you pay more per pound for salt than for steak, you might be a hipster.”
3.
“If you’ve gotten a DUI on a unicycle…”
4.
“If you complain about gentrification while shopping at a Whole Foods/Trader Joe’s/Sprouts, you might be a hipster.”
5.
“If the tattoo on your arm cost more than your car, you might be a hipster.”
6.
“If you pay a lot of money to look poor, you might be a hipster.”
7.
“If you used a laptop to buy a typewriter, you’re probably a hipster.”
8.
“If your morning coffee has more words in its name than a typical newspaper headline, you might be a hipster.”
9.
“If you raid your grandparents’ closet for new outfits….You might be a hipster.”
10.
“If you’re sporting the same mustache as the cat on your T-shirt…”
11.
“If you sip fruit-infused water through an eco-straw in a mason jar, youuuu might be a hipster.”
12.
“If you can tell me where the beverage you are consuming was grown, you might be a hipster.”
13.
“If you spend more on mustache wax than you do on soap…”
14.
“If you own more suspenders than belts, you might be a hipster.”
15.
“If you have a marbled wood cover for your MacBook Pro.”
16.
“You might be a hipster if you run an artisanal mayonnaise store in Brooklyn.”
17.
“If you graduated from a liberal-arts college and immediately moved to NYC, you might be a hipster. Bonus points if it’s Bushwick.”
18.
“If you dress like a lumberjack but the closest you’ve ever come to an axe is your body spray…you might be a hipster.”
19.
“If you can’t pay your art-school student loans because you spent it all on craft beer, you might be a hipster.”
20.
“If you use smoke from tobacco you grew and aged to calm your beehive, you might be a hipster.”
21.
“If people look at you and your friends and assume a Civil War reenactment has come into town, you might be a hipster.”
22.
“If you like things because others hate them and hate things because others like them, you might be a hipster.”
23.
“If your girlfriend’s tongue stud got stuck in one of your ear gauges at a Neutral Milk Hotel concert, you might be a hipster.”
24.
“If you refer to going to Coachella as a pilgrimage, you might be a hipster.”
25.
“If you are getting your Master’s in Brewing.”
26.
“If you’re a white person who protests for black lives matter while living in a gentrified formerly African American neighborhood, you might be a hipster.”
27.
“If your dog is a vegan, you might be a hipster.”
28.
“If you complain about globalism on an iPhone.”
29.
“If you order a craft wheat ale to wash down your pizza with gluten-free crust, you might be a hipster.”
30.
“If you regularly tell people about four or more activities you were doing ‘before they were cool,’ you might be a hipster.”
31.
“If you have sparkles in your beard youuuu might be a hipster.”
32.
“You might be a hipster if you look like lumberjack but really you’re a trust fund baby.”
33.
“If you ‘liked them before they got big,’ you might be a hipster.”
34.
“If you complain about people obsessing over social media on social media, you may be a hipster.”
35.
“If your pants are tighter than your underwear, you might be a hipster.”
36.
“If you installed a cassette player into your brand-new Toyota Prius, then you might be a hipster.”
37.
“If you complain about capitalism to your cashier at Whole Foods, you might be a hipster…
Unfortunately, I had to witness this in person…”
38.
“If you can pass small mammals through your earlobes, you might be a hipster.”
39.
“If you’ve ever considered adding sriracha to a PBR, you might be a hipster.”
40.
“If you got a prescription for Adderall, but not the eyeglasses on your face, you might be a hipster.”
41.
“If you wear a scarf with a short-sleeved shirt…”
42.
“If you spend more money on coffee than you do for rent…..You might be a hipster.”
43.
“If all the members of your favorite band know your name, you might be a hipster.”
44.
“If your water costs more than your beer…”
45.
“If you spend more on bottled water and beard care products than on your rent…you might be a hipster.”
46.
“If your mustache has ever gotten tangled in a toothbrush your mom bought you, you might be a hipster.”
47.
“If you hate capitalism and tweet about it from your Macbook Pro in a Starbucks you might be a hipster.”
48.
“If you wear a mesh cap/trucker hat but have ever used the phrase ‘toxic masculinity,’ you might be a hipster.”
49.
“If you complain that you are oppressed by society while attending one of the most expensive schools in the country while wearing some of the most expensive clothes in the country and while taking pictures with one of the most expensive phones in the country you might be a hipster.”
50.
“If you’re over 20 years old, still live with your parents, and keep blaming everyone else for your mistakes, you may be a hipster.”
