27 People Confess To Evil Childhood Deeds They’ve Never Admitted To Their Parents (NSFW)

1. I stole and crashed their car to get some late-night Taco Bell.

Your car wasn’t stolen and then crashed a mile away by some dumbshit criminal. It was stolen and crashed by your dumbshit son, who just wanted some late-night Taco Bell.

I was 11, hungry, and not very smart.

2. I threw my little brother down the stairs in a suitcase.

I threw my little brother down the stairs in a suitcase during a game of hide and seek…

3. I faked a suicide attempt.

When I was 12 years old, I faked a suicide attempt in an AOL chatroom. Told the people there that I shot myself in the stomach. 10 minutes later, the police arrived and asked if my dad was still alive, because he was linked to the AOL connection. I don’t know how, but I managed to convince everyone it wasn’t me. Since then, I never told my parents my what really happened that day. I’m not proud of this.

4. I used my mom’s vibrator.

I stole my mom’s vibrator. My girlfriend and I masturbated with it, although I don’t remember if we climaxed. I left it outside one day, beneath the window of my friend’s house. We completely forgot about it.

My mom is on a lot of psych meds. I wonder if she knows I stole it, or thinks she some how misplaced it.