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Thought Catalog

  • Five Questions You Should Never Ask Someone

    Five Questions You Should Never Ask Someone

    If you meet someone and they haven’t revealed their sexuality via a comment about the same sex or something similar, you can’t just be like, “Are you gay?” because they might be in the closet or even worse, actually straight (they’re never actually straight though).

  • The Definition of Love

    The Definition of Love

    Love is someone giving a shit about you enough to argue. Love is not passive. Love is “Don’t fucking touch me right now.” Love is “Who the FUCK were you talking to?” Love is sometimes hating yourself for a second. Love is hate. Period. Indifference is the real killer of love and the true antithesis.

  • Ass Hairs: I Have a Problem

    Ass Hairs: I Have a Problem

    My body is similar in touch to a dolphin’s. Yet – and by the title of this article I think you know where I’m going – I have extremely long ass hairs, up to 2-inches. Not only are my ass hairs easily the longest hairs on my body, but I would argue they are longer…

  • The Five Types of Friends Everyone Should Get Rid Of

    The Five Types of Friends Everyone Should Get Rid Of

    You like the party friend, but you actually don’t know a lot about them. Sometimes you wonder if they do normal things during the day like go grocery shopping or run to the post office. You also wonder if they’re actually happy and if so, how they could live this lifestyle you only experience once…

  • Unemployed? Try Sleeping All Day!

    Unemployed? Try Sleeping All Day!

    Stay up late watching TV. Since you can’t afford HBO or Netflix, you’re going to have to endure a lot of commercials unless you use my trick of checking out DVDs from the library. Staying up cuddling with your remote tonight paves the way for hours of unconsciousness tomorrow.

  • How to Live in Los Angeles

    How to Live in Los Angeles

    Go to a coffee shop at 3:00 in the afternoon to apply for jobs and find it packed. Wonder how people actually make a living here. Everyone always talks about a new exciting project in the works and drives a BMW, but they’re still hanging out at Coffee Bean in the middle of the afternoon…

  • Almost Transparent Blue by Ryu Murakami

    Almost Transparent Blue by Ryu Murakami

    Almost Transparent Blue (1976) was written by Ry? Murakami (b. 1952) while he was a student at Musashino Art University, where he was enrolled in the sculpture program. It was his first novel and was awarded the Akutagawa Prize (Japan’s “most sought after” literary prize; previous winners include Kobo Abe and Kenzaburo Oe) and sold…

  • Why The Internet Chose Cats

    Why The Internet Chose Cats

    Popular themes for internet cat pictures suggest that the cat is perplexed by his/her environment; the cat is demanding of something in a regal fashion [cats may often be implied to be ‘overlords’ or ruling-class characters from science-fiction movies]; the cat is excited to have succeeded at something while remaining oblivious to the practicality of…

  • You Should Date An Illiterate Girl

    You Should Date An Illiterate Girl

    A girl who reads possesses a vocabulary that can describe that amorphous discontent as a life unfulfilled—a vocabulary that parses the innate beauty of the world and makes it an accessible necessity instead of an alien wonder.

  • Dating a Privileged White Girl

    Dating a Privileged White Girl

    She was immersed in things I’d only heard of before, like Debutantes, season tickets to the Orange County Performing Arts Center, new Volvo sedans, Pescetarianism, Whole Foods, art show openings, family alumni in Ivy League universities, famous relatives who were active or once active in the art world…

  • The Evolution of A Typical Long-Term Monogamous Relationship

    The Evolution of A Typical Long-Term Monogamous Relationship

    Such moments become fiercely guarded, protected and cherished memories and subsequently, the recall of such memories is often the precursor to small mental breakdowns, large mental breakdowns, and evolution-of-a-relationship montages in movies, specifically circa 1980 and 1990.

  • Five Emotions Invented By The Internet

    Five Emotions Invented By The Internet

    During this time the individual will have several windows open, generally several browser ‘tabs,’ a Microsoft Word document in some state of incompletion, the individual’s own Facebook page as well as that of another randomly-selected individual who may or may not be on the ‘friends’ list, 2-5 Gchat conversations that are no longer immediately active,…

  • 10 Clichés About Relationships & Sex That Are Worth Questioning

    10 Clichés About Relationships & Sex That Are Worth Questioning

    Sex involving two partners shouldn’t have anything to do with Victoria Secret catalogs, Penelope Cruz, or any TV/movie love/romance/sex scene that once impressed you so deeply that it’s actually become a part of your sexual repertoire. Sex doesn’t have to be loud, it doesn’t have to be graceful, and you don’t have to roll your…

  • 20 Ways To Be Popular At An Expensive Liberal Arts School

    20 Ways To Be Popular At An Expensive Liberal Arts School

    Take over a building. Why not the library? All you need to do is show up and then refuse to leave. It is the most effective way of getting your point (perhaps justice in a far away land) across and in no way inconveniences other students. Make sure to bring your nalgene full of greentea…

  • I Have An Irrational Fear Of HIV

    I Have An Irrational Fear Of HIV

    I get tested every three months not because I need to, but because I have a sick fear that is obviously rooted in some other mental disturbance. HIV just gets to be its face.

  • Intervention: Erin Is Addicted To Meth, Men And Wearing Booty Shorts

    Intervention: Erin Is Addicted To Meth, Men And Wearing Booty Shorts

    Today Erin’s life is very ho-hum. Her husband Jim goes to work at a place called Christian World while she lounges in her bra and booty shorts, smokes meth and hangs out with her friends. When she tires of that, Erin invites her boyfriend over-the one who truly understands her-and the two have wild passionate…

  • Ten Best Celebrity Twitters

    Ten Best Celebrity Twitters

    When celebrities use Twitter, it can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, they’re able to create a faux personal relationship with their fans and enhance their brand and marketability. On the other, they could be complete idiots who shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near a computer to tweet their thoughts.

  • How to Live in New York City

    How to Live in New York City

    Go home for the holidays and run into old friends from high school. When you tell them that you live in New York, watch their eyes widen. They’ll say, “Oh my god, New York? That’s so crazy. I’m so jealous!” Have a blasé attitude about it but deep down inside, know they have good reason…