For those of you who are confused by this phenomenon, allow me to outline the different kinds of best friends that exist here in Lady Town (a new city I am building filled with Lisa Frank pencils and spreadable goat cheese).

I happen to actually be from the “Jersey Shore,” and as you already can tell, I am a total sweetheart and absolutely worth getting to know (HA, get in line). In all seriousness though, I have a valid argument, because in New Jersey everything is an argument, to make about the “Jersey Shore.”

The base of this false movement is “identity.” You’ve probably heard the term “identity politics” used to refer to people who believe that identity colors one’s experiences, and this idea is not without merit. Identity is an important concept, and is essential to the fighting of bigoted stereotypes and ideas about marginalized groups.

Charles Darwin married his cousin. They had ten children. Albert Einstein married his cousin too. So did Jesse James and H.G Wells. And the list goes on and on — millions and millions of people marry their relatives. In a few Middle Eastern nations, marriage between cousins accounts for almost half of all marriages.

You’re alone all the time. At first it’s unbearable and agonizing and physically painful, the sense that you no matter what you do, you will do it in solitude.

There is absolutely no excuse for ignorance, apathy, insensitivity, and callousness about women who struggle with body image; eating disorders are an issue that affects us all.

They make you constantly feel like you have no genitalia, like you aren’t a sexual being. One dismissive glance or thoughtless comment chops your privates off and sends it to Mattel where Barbie and Ken dolls are made.

But that shaved-headed girl is always inside, looking out, knowing that our identity is a haircut away from being taken.

If I have overcome anything in life brought on by my culture, it would be the stereotypes waiting for me to prove I am a failure. When taking standardized tests where we have to fill in our racial group, why is it that they take the scores and categorize the means by ethnicity?

Waterproof Cell Phones. Throwing friends into the pool is a lost art, do you know why that is? Well you can ask Siri, but my guess is that nobody wants to be responsible for ruining someone’s $500 iPhone.