TL; DR: If calling myself intelligent offends you; well, build a bridge…

7. You can do tricks with your face.

Sure, she’s man-made but guess what? There are actual women in the world that look like this. Like, a bunch of them.

When it comes to letting someone know you’re annoyed with an expressionless face, you’re all naturally magical Meryl Streeps.

“Dude those are so fresh,” I said. And they were. They were Converse All-Star High-Tops, Hawaiian flower print edition—available only to select Chinese retailers in 2012—and they looked hella clean.

Putting more fruits and vegetables on your plate, and eating those first before treating yourself to the less-healthy things. Making the choice to eat better is often very simple, and…

1. I’ve spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer… but no one will do it.

This week kind of sucked. It wasn’t Grade A suckage, like where a pet died or my favorite pizza place closed, but it was bad enough all I wanted to…

Katherine Heigl was a real bitch in High School. She would walk around like a little diva and all the teachers hated her (she was about 2 years into film…

I give you the ultimate 90s guilty pleasure playlist: chock full of your favorite songs… that you completely forgot existed.

“The truth is that you have to be the aggressor, and show people you’re interested, and show them that you’re not just content with where you are.”