Yeah, yeah, yeah. You believe in the redemption, in choosing your own path, in underdogs proving their own worth, and all of that. But you also believe in ugly ducklings and beautiful, beautiful swans.

2. It’s not how much you earn, it’s how much you save.

Loving Target with the very flame of your soul and calling it Targé is a fiscally responsible and heartwarming way to buy another lacy sundress you don’t need, and that’s a life everyone deserves to live now and again (or every weekend — you do you hons).

Someone announces on Facebook that they’re starting some new diet or weight loss plan and you’re like “Mmhmm. Okay.”

A new mother wanted her boyfriend’s name tattooed on the chest of her 5-month-old son.

I work at a recycling center and just the other day someone threw a dead cat into the cardboard shredder.

Didn’t just wait for someone to text her back, but kept the window open to see the little ellipses pop up.

Answer their phone calls at 4 A.M and promise them that you were not sleeping, even if you were.

We aren’t heroes. And we get compensated very well for the relatively little education we have.

There is no such thing as “The subway.”