A Letter To The Ones I’ve Loved Before

To the ones I’ve loved before, thank you. 

Out of all of the emotions I could feel, it’s gratitude. I didn’t think I could get to where I am now. Don’t get me wrong–in the past, I felt anger. Sadness. Confusion, anxiety, self-doubt.

Maybe it’s how you treated me that made moving on so much easier.

To the ones I’ve loved before, thank you for showing me how I deserve to be treated.

To the one who was cruel:

You were the guy who called me names, the one who threatened me. To be fair, I’ll always be angry, confused, hurt. But I’ll also be stronger because of you. I know how I should be treated: with respect, with kindness, with gentleness, with care.

To the one who ghosted me:

You knew what you were doing. You were smart in that way. You challenged me. When you left, I was lost, but now I know where I’m going. I know what I’m doing. I can challenge myself.

To the one I think about the most:

You matched my capacity for love, in love, to love, and yet, it wasn’t me who you wanted to be with. You strung me along until you found who you were looking for. You couldn’t love me and that’s okay now. I’ve learned to love myself instead.

To the ones I’ve loved before, thank you for giving me the chance to grow with my emotions. Thank you for showing me how it’s okay to be vulnerable sometimes.

Now I know that good can come of it.

Now I recognize that what happened wasn’t my fault.

Now I challenge myself. I expose my passions and my intelligence.

Now I know the kind of loving man I deserve. I love myself more.

To the ones I’ve loved before, thank you. 

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