Here’s Where To Find Each Myers-Briggs Type At The Mall

INTJ: At the Williams-Sonoma, pricing $5000 Japanese pairing knives. Went to the mall to buy a pair of Old Navy flip-flops.

ENFP: There with their SO, making matching Build-A-Bears that make a velociraptor sound when you squeeze them.

INFP: At Barnes & Noble. 120 pages and three coffees deep into a book they haven’t bought.

ENFJ: Successfully convincing a Sephora cashier to combine a coupon and sale price on a non-coupon, non-sale item.

ISFP: Buying new luggage. They are looking for a carry-on bag that will fit a 36 X 30 framed canvas.

ENTP: In the “rare and vintage” bookshop eyeing a first edition of a Kerouac novel. Settles for a used paperback copy because they spent all their money on an autographed Neil deGrasse Tyson poster.

ESTP: Lost in the Spencer’s Gifts. It’s the only store they’ll go to for their back-to-school shopping.

ISTJ: Hates the mall. Is only there because they need a computer part and the only Best Buy in town is attached.

ISFJ: Hanging with their friends at the food court and discussing the merits of the superhero movie they just saw.

INTP: Lost in the Brookstone. It’ll be hours before someone finds them sitting catatonically in a net chair with a pensive look on their face, staring at the ice cube makers.

ENTJ: Looking for a random item that they swear Neiman Marcus sells. In reality, only the one in Tokyo has ever stocked it.

INFJ: At Teavana enjoying the serenity and free samples. Will almost certainly leave with a blooming tea.

ESFP: Is getting their nails done for the second time this week, because they suddenly realized the old color clashed with the dress they’re wearing to that party tonight.

ESTJ: At the Banana Republic buying 100 versions of the same button up shirt because they like the way it fits.

ESFJ: Somehow the Great American Cookies is cleaner when they leave it then when they arrived.

ISTP: In the Apple store trying out all the new tech. Won’t be satisfied until they catch a glimpse of the new watches.