To My Best Friend, Here Are The Things I Want To Thank You For

Thank you for giving me a pat on the shoulder literally and figuratively whenever I start to feel lonely.

You take it offensively, actually. You ask me, Who am I to you? And I start to realize how foolish I am to think nobody’s there for me when you’re always behind me. Always beside me. Always before me. I know you’ve been listening to all my drama and imbibing my sadness. I know you crack (corny) jokes just to steal my mind from anxiety. You try to check on me at random parts of the day and just so you know, it always puts a smile on my face.

When everyone seems to have left me, just one message from you and loneliness flees.

When everyone is tired of me, when everyone cannot put up with me anymore, you’re still there beckoning me to comfort. You invite me to catch up at our favorite coffee shop even though you know I might not be willing to get out of my shell. You tell me things that remind me of my strength and blessings that I fail to count. You show me how wonderful life is and instill in me the thought that my worth doesn’t depend on the people who leave.

Thank you for staying despite the times I have hurt you.

I’ve hurt you in so many ways, I know. I hurt you when I become passive aggressive. When I just become silent for days without letting you know why. When I don’t listen to you. When I fail to ask you if you want to eat somewhere. When I miss asking about your day. When I criticize your decisions. Or when I respond the way you don’t expect me to. I’ve hurt you so much when I’ve forgotten about you during the time I was in love. I have hurt you a lot, intended or not. And so I’m asking for forgiveness. (Although I know you’ve forgiven me already.)

Sometimes I wonder if I deserve to have a best friend like you.

I’m wondering if you’re just someone who’s been given to me temporarily. Someone who might walk away and not come back after a series of storms with me. Or someone who eventually gets turned off after knowing who I really am and witnessing my quirks and brokenness. But as time passes by, as we’ve encountered manifold arguments and trials, we are still intact. We still walk in this world hand in hand and darn I am surprised by your patience. I am in awe of your faithfulness and of how you still see the best in me.

Thank you for sharing whatever things you have with me.

You’ve never shown a whit of selfishness. When I’m in need in any aspect, you’re there to provide for me. You never forget to offer me what you’ve cooked whenever I drop by your apartment (even if I’m making fun of how salty it is). You share with me your fries and even that Caramel Sundae of which you’re a die-hard fan. Tangible or intangible, all the things you share with me are so much appreciated. I will always make sure to offset your selflessness even if you don’t ask for it.

I try to imagine what would have happened if you’d not been there during the times I needed someone.

It’s difficult to imagine. It would have been difficult without you. Perhaps I’ve depended on you too much but you’re not making me feel like that’s something for me to regret. I know I have to teach myself to not lean on anyone, even on you. To make myself strong enough not to seek help and be in despair. But God is like whispering to me, feel my presence through her. And so I’ve always believed I should never neglect His gift. You are one wonderful instrument God uses to pacify my restlessness and strengthen my faith.

Thank you for accepting the real me. For loving my flaws and making me love myself even more. Thank you for being a family to me, for being the sister I had always wished to have. Thank you for making life extra awesome.

Thank you because, with you, there’s this thing called ‘forever.’