Johanna Mort
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Articles by
Johanna Mort
Kevin Is A YouTube Sensation: 9 Things That Would Be Different If ‘Home Alone’ Took Place In 2015
As soon as Kevin got suspicious that his whole family was missing, he would have sent off a quick text just to be sure that Santa hadn’t kidnapped all of them. Problem solved. The movie’s over in about 20 minutes.
23 Captivating Songs For When You’re Hopelessly In Love
“First Day Of My Life” by Bright Eyes
24 Thoughts Avid Readers Have When They Finish Their New Favorite Book
So. Many. Feelings. Can’t. Handle.
21 Morgan Tookers Quotes That Will Give You Life (And Laughter)
“Number two sexiest female organ: the butt. Number one sexiest female organ: the brain. The ba-donk-a-donk and the ba-think-a-think.”
19 Things That Only People Who Were ‘Band Kids’ In School Will Understand
You’re not afraid to rock out to some killer instrumentals. Bro. Did you HEAR the French horn at 1:33?? F*cking badass!!
21 Moments From Mindy Kaling’s AMA That Prove She’s The Best Friend You’ve Always Wanted
“I am no princess. I am Ursula the Sea Witch.”
The Trailer For ‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2’ Is Here — And It’s Everything You Dreamed It Would Be And More
I don’t know about you, but I’ve been waiting for this moment for exactly 4,954 days (or 13 years, 6 months, 23 days). BUT WHO’S COUNTING.
23 Tweets That Hilariously Sum Up The Latest GOP Debate
“Hasn’t Trump seen World War Z? Wall’s no good. Zombies or immigrants just pile up until they’re taller than the wall, roll over it”
13 People On The Argument That Ended Their Long-Term Relationship
“We’d been dating seriously for a year and a half and he still didn’t feel like it was time to meet my family.”
17 Hilarious #PickUpLinesForRepublicans That You’ll Laugh At Regardless Of Your Affiliation
“I want our love to be like the Benghazi Committee; irrational and never ending.”
17 #ThisValentinesDayl Tweets That Accurately Predict What You’re Going To Be Doing This February
“ThisValentinesDayI will spend an extra hour getting ready for Netflix and chill.”
19 Hilariously True Mindy Lahiri Quotes That Will Help You Lead Your Most Authentic Life
“I figure if I’m gonna be a mess, I might as well be a hot mess.”
In Case You Forgot, Eddie Murphy Wants You To Put Things In Your Butt
While clicking through the endless abyss that is the Internet, my friend and I struck gold.
14 People On The One Guilty Pleasure They’re Hiding From Their Partner
“Chick flicks. I complain every time she asks to watch one on Netflix, but usually I can get a blow job afterwards for being a good sport. She doesn’t need to know that I’ve actually really wanted to see that movie too.”
Ben Carson Made A Rap Radio Ad — And It’s As Magically Horrible As You’d Imagine
“Ben Carson 2016 / Vote and support Ben Carson / for the next president he’d be awesome.”
17 Unavoidable Stages Of Driving Solo On A Long Road Trip
You weren’t even sad before this trip began, but Frank Ocean came up on your shuffle, and you can’t. stop. all. the. tears.
14 People On The First Time They Had Their Heart Broken (And How They Recovered)
“I miss him every day, but I try and miss him a little less each time. It doesn’t always work, but yesterday I only thought about him once, so I’m pretty proud of that.”
14 Shy People On Their Go-To Move When Flirting With Their Crush
“I’ll give him a playful shove, maybe touch his arm, and then overanalyze everything and hate myself for the rest of the evening.”