Jimmy Chen

Aesthetically the look and feel of an overstuffed Falafel.

You buy vegetables at farmer’s market — carrying their ostentatiously exposed stems and leaves in an artistic canvas tote bag purchased at Etsy — and render them into soup that day while listening to NPR solemnly address contemporary issues.

I married into a Filipino family for sexual availability of the sister, to which I would not have been blood-related, and discovered the matriarch only used plastic cups and paper plates, like there were towers upon towers of Dixie plasticware everywhere.

Imagine a more pensive and less adventurous Jack Kerouac being not necessarily “on the road,” but on the toilet.

Lil Wayne, a permanent tear tattoo marking its descent, “need[s] a Winn-Dixie grocery bag full of money,” and I wonder why he doesn’t just drop it in a CD or IRA account, whose interest rates alone could buy a new grill

I walk over to my desk, on which both devices are presently being charged, and release each duplicate notification by going into their respective mirror Twitter apps and confirming what I already know to be true, that one of my followers — as corroborated in a tab on my MacBook Air (7) — had favorited a tweet, which I find affirmation in for 20-25 seconds.

A large group of women were seated next to us having what I assume was some “girl’s brunch out,” the first of many consumption oriented events (e.g. shopping, manicures, massages) they would mutually experience throughout the day.

This was in 1993, before smartphones, otherwise a quick text to Sam the man would have really conveyed the direct correlation between her sentiments and presence atop the tall building.

The mean range of a twerking video is around 3:00 minutes, generally well-received with a like-to-dislike ratio of 10:1, anywhere ranging from ~20,000 to +2,000,000 views. In short, the public has gladly accepted twerking into their lives.

My 13-year-old self’s nascent puddy-like mind could not believe what it saw. Lead singer and frontman Donnie Vie had thanked Nicole Eggert.

In junior high, I was deeply, irrevocably, and violently in love with Nicole Eggert, who played Jamie in Charles in Charge (1987-1990), starring Scott Baio as a live-in caregiver to the Powell family, in which Jamie was the eldest and most sultry daughter.

In a post-racial world, this color is all that matters. It means everything is okay inside.

In a theater ~10-12 min before the 8:40 p.m. showing of harrowing foreign film next to ambivalent date in awkward silence who resents you for having to read subtitles on a weeknight.

Read as little as possible literary criticism; they are petrified and meaningless; can’t send any books: I’m broke, sorry.

The sodomy was clinical in nature, and thus concede to using the word with liberty.

Maybe if I name drop Thelonius Monk at a party I might get someone’s number, some girl impressed by absurd classist things. This is how things seem to work.

The year is 1882, before the internet, and people had a lot of extra time to think. German philosopher and downright misanthrope Friedrich Nietzsche, in The Gay Science (§ 125) says “Gott ist tot,” meaning God is dead (not a tater tot).

LL Cool J — I liked how he kept licking his lips in “Going Back to Cali”; seemed like obsessive compulsive disorder, but since he’s a stud no one called him out on that.