Taco Bell Burrito As Fleshlight: An Inquiry

Name: “Beefy 5-Layer Burrito”
Type: Hedonist
Purveyor copy: Layers of seasoned beef, beans, real cheddar cheese and cool reduced-fat sour cream all wrapped in a flour tortilla with a special layer of warm nacho cheese sauce.
Inquiry: The ultimate fleshlight, its warm cheesy double-layer crust perfect for sustained vigorous thrusting. (For those of you who aren’t acclimated, a fleshlight a handheld male mastubatory device made to feel like the vaginal canal.) With its thick paste-like insides formed by the tender beef, refried beans, and sour cream — not to mention the secreted juices — this one is not only aroused, but sitting on you at the drive thru. One imagines a strand or two of grated cheddar resting on one’s shaft after the deed is done. I would tear this one apart over a long weekend.
Rating: ★★★★★