30 Hilarious Responses When Someone Asks If You’re Sexually Active

1. Nah, I mostly just lie there.

2. Why? Are you planning a sacrifice?

3. Depends. What are you doing Friday night?

4. With another human being? No. With myself? Most definitely.

5. I’m not too sure that I understand. Could you give me a demonstration?

6. Does furniture count?

7. Does my right hand count?

8. NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING will make me active. Even Sex. I am a potato and I am a proud one.

9. No, I’m lonely.

10. That’s a terrible pickup line. You should try, ‘do you want to get a cup of coffee sometime,’ or something like that.

11. Not yet, wink wink.

12. I’d like to be.

13. No, just actively sexy.

14. You forgot, Doc?

15. Does anal count?

16. Yes, I activate myself sexually several times a week.

17. I wish…

18. I’m not even socially active.

19. Are you coming onto me?

20. I’ve seen more virtual vaginas than I have real ones.

21. Why? What did the nurses say?

22.  Only when I’m drunk.

23. Nope. My parents get more action than I do.

24. Insufficiently so.

25. I can neither confirm nor deny that.

26. I can’t believe you’ve forgotten already! I’ll never forget it at least.

27. No, I pretty much just lie there. He’s the one who’s active.

28. At this very moment?

29. Do toys count?

30. Why? You know anybody?