6 Things That Happened When I Stopped Looking For My Forever Person
When I was trying to stick to some imaginary timeline in my head, I was miserable. I felt like a failure.
1. I started enjoying the single life more. I used to get nervous about flirting with other people because I put way too much pressure on myself. I didn’t want to embarrass myself. I didn’t want to ruin my chances with someone special. I wanted our flirting to develop into something real. I wanted them to be the one. But now, I’m able to enjoy flirting without thinking too far down the line. Maybe something will come out of it, but if I never see their face again, that’s fine too. I’m able to enjoy today more since I’m not obsessed with what’s going to happen tomorrow.
2. I started focusing on my career aspirations more. I’m not able to control when the love of my life walks into my world. However, I have a bit more control over my career. I can choose where to work. I can choose what projects to put effort into completing. I can start walking down a road that is going to lead me to self-fulfillment. While I’m waiting for someone special to arrive, I’m having a good time working toward my dreams. If love finds me along the way, I’m going to open my heart to the opportunity, but I’m no longer wasting every weekend looking.
3. I started loving myself more. When every moment was spent obsessing over some crush, it was easier for me to be mean to myself. I wondered why they weren’t interested. I wondered what I was doing wrong. I compared myself to every person they posted pictures with on social media. I tore myself apart in the process of trying to impress them. But now, the only person I’m trying to make happy is myself. I’m deciding which clothes to wear and where to spend my weekends based on my own preferences, not in the hopes of impressing some stranger.
4. I started spending more time developing my pre-existing relationships. Instead of trying to convince a crush to hang out with me on weekends or keeping my schedule open just in case they happened to text, I now spend my weekends with friends. We check in with each other more. We swap secrets more. We rely on each other more. Romantic relationships aren’t the only worthwhile relationships. Friendships matter, too. They deserve effort, too.
5. I started learning more about myself. Since I’ve had more time to spend with myself lately, I’ve learned a fair bit about myself. My likes. My dislikes. My dealbreakers. My bad habits. Instead of texting a crush the second I feel lonely, I sit with the feeling. I question it. I try to examine it. It’s given me a lot of insight on who I am as a person.
6. I started feeling a lot less pressure. When I was trying to stick to some imaginary timeline in my head, I was miserable. I felt like a failure. I felt like there was something wrong with me. But now, I realize the only person putting pressure on me is myself. I don’t have to be married by a certain age. I don’t have to find love by a certain date. It doesn’t matter whether I’m single, engaged, married, or divorced. All that matters is whether I’m happy. 
