The Schitt’s Creek Quote That Completely Embodies Each Zodiac

Aries

“I could not be more at one with nature. I do Coachella every year.” — David Rose

Taurus

“Hide your diamonds, hide your exes.” — Alexis Rose

Gemini

“Gossip is the devil’s telephone. Best to just hang up.” — Moira Rose

Cancer

“I plan on popping a pill, crying a bit, and falling asleep early.” — David Rose

Leo

“I walk through life in really nice shoes.” — Alexis Rose

Virgo

“I have my own holiday tradition. It’s like the 12 Days of Christmas, but it’s one day with 12 bottles of wine.” — Stevie Budd

Libra

“I do not have a lot to my name right now, but I do have one thing: taste.” — David Rose

Scorpio

“I’d kill for a good coma right now.” — Moira Rose

Sagittarius

“The world is falling apart around us and I’m dying inside.” — Moira Rose

Capricorn

“If airplane safety videos have taught me anything, David, it’s that a mother puts her own mask on first.” — Moira Rose

Aquarius

“I hope that someday I find someone who I can stand long enough to feel a little lost when they’re not around.” — Stevie Budd

Pisces

“This wine is awful. Give me another glass.” — Moira Rose