How To Flirt (Even If You’re Far From A 10)

1. Position yourself close to them: By positioning myself to be near someone without it seeming intentional. That way you get a lot of face time with the person for witty banter and eyelash batting. Then I’d try to isolate myself, like by getting something from the kitchen at a party, and making sure the other person saw where I was going and if they ‘randomly’ showed up. If they showed up near me a few times and started chatting, it’d be pretty good confirmation they were feeling it too.

2. Look between their lips and eyes: While in conversation, look at their lips, then glance up to the eyes and smile slightly. Best done with mouth slightly open. Take a second nice, long look, and moisten your lips with the tip of your tongue. When done properly, men will have to adjust, women will squirm. Effective!!

3. Try to make your skin brush against each other: Stay near them when hanging out, not in a creepy following them around way, but in a sit beside them and keep a conversation going. When sitting down try to make your legs touch, even just your knees, but make it seem passive. You didn’t sit like that to touch them, it just happened and now you’re comfy. Shoulder to shoulder also works great! Make yourself known. Always check your posture, arch your back and puff your chest, you want your shoulders appearing broad, this makes a massive difference!.

Always always always maintain eye contact in one on one conversations, but in group ones make sure to not always be looking at them.

Flirting isn’t like ‘oh you’re so pretty/handsome’ it’s just making yourself seem chill and good to be around. But that doesn’t mean avoid compliments completely, but don’t directly say ‘you’re face is nice’. You gotta say things like ‘you have a nice laugh’ or ‘I love hanging out with you’ stuff that could be a normal compliment, but in the right context is something you want to be told by the person you like.

This is what works for me, this also just helps talking to new people and making friends, not just flirting.

Never act like someone else, this is possibly the most important of all of these. You want them to like you, not the fake personality you’ve taken on to fake being interesting.”

4. Ask some basic questions: Ask questions about what they talk about, shows you care. Be a good friend, don’t have a bullyish personality towards them. Don’t make jokes at their expense, or at the expense of anything they care about. Pay attention to how they react to what you say or do, will influence what sort of jokes or conversation you should make with them. Get excited for what she wants to do, and try get her excited about you want to do: share your passions! Be a person who wants to be the best person they can, and bring that across in your personality. Do your best! A relationship is a 2 way deal: Just because she suits your taste and requirements doesn’t necessarily mean you will suit hers. If you’re not compatible, then rather than force a relationship, try learn something about yourself: why it didn’t work, who you are and who you want to be.

5. Crack some jokes: Just be yourself. When I was younger, I put way too much effort into trying to flirt with girls and be the guy that I thought they wanted. My best advice is to just be yourself, crack some relevant jokes to your conversation. If they are interested in you, it’ll be because of your conversation and demeanor, not because of a flirtatious pick up line. If you’re a male, learn about females. Their getting-ready process. Curling their hair takes a long time, getting their eyebrows plucked is painful, their makeup takes some meticulous effort. Compliment the things that they worked hard on.

6. Give them genuine compliments: I’m basically very friendly, I smile and laugh a lot, I look at the other in the eye, I tilt my head on the side, I compliment, I touch slightly, I show concern and genuine interest, I make jokes and I tease. I will say that they’re awesome and so interesting, sometimes even call them hot. I’m a girl, and while this works pretty well on guys most of the time, women are oblivious and think I want to be their friend. So yay, I guess I’m too subtle.”

7. Make eye contact: Eye contact is important. Most people are right handed and therefore right eye dominant. So if you just maintain eye contact with their right eye, you don’t worry about bouncing back and forth between the two eyeballs most people have.

8. Believe in yourself: The first step is to believe that you are someone worth knowing and having fun with. If you honestly believe in yourself, the rest flows naturally.

9. Pay attention to their social cues: I look for insanely small social signals that the person is receptive to it. When they are speaking to you, are their hips facing you or are they turning their head a bit to talk to you? Have they touched any part of you while in conversation? Are you the last person they look at when they say goodbye? That kinda stuff. It’s not a written invitation, but the odds that there’s an extra level of comfort there is very possible.

10. Play a little coy: Honestly these days I find the best technique is when to active listen and when to play a little coy. Once you get good at dipping in and out of someone’s focus, you start to notice things. Like when you switch who you’re looking at/speaking to during a conversation in a group. If you changed your focus off someone you’re flirting with, you’ll start to notice them still watching you and sometimes even changing their body language to redraw your attention.

11. Tease them in a nice way: All I do is try to make them laugh and smile either by just joking about something or teasing them. (I know it high school behavior but it works for me.) I didn’t tease them about stuff they would be self conscious about, I wouldn’t say, ‘Nice mole on your next Katherine, haha jk.’ I would tell them ‘Oh that’s a really nice dress, buuut the mannequin I saw last night wore it better.’ Then the jokes would slowly get a little more promiscuous and vulgar and I would take hints from their reactions if I should cool it or if I can keep pushing it. Eventually I got to sleep with them and date some.

12. Stand a little closer to them: As a lady, I get close to them. Like stand a little closer when talking, casually touch their arm, shoulder, whatever. Also initiate conversation, ask the person about themselves, show genuine interest in them as a person.

13. Treat them like a human being: Just be nice and treat them like a person. If they are interested look for the signals. Smiling at you, tilting their head when they talk to you, laughing harder that the joke should warrant, touching your arm when talking, crossing their legs toward you, saying things that continue the conversation rather than stop it. Get used to being shot down.. it happens 90% of the time to even the most attractive people (not their type, already in a relationship). Be okay with it and move on.

14. Let your eyes do most of the flirting: When I like a girl, then my eyes do a lot of the flirting. I smirk a lot, raise my eyebrows at the right times, and my tone of voice is suggestive no matter what I’m saying. At some point I’ll start interjecting sexual/physical comments, not exactly overt sexual comments directed at her, but things that relate to sex or body parts.

For example, if a girl is laughing at my jokes and she says I’m funny, then I’ll tease her and say something like, ‘Yeah, whatever! Girls are easy to make laugh. Usually I just have to pull my pants down though!’

A lot of times, it’s actual teasing in a playful way. I was on a date with a girl that had a snap story a couple months back that showed her buying a cocktail, because it had Ugli fruit in it and she loves Ugli fruit. I saw Ugli fruit at the grocery store and bought one. On the date I told her, ‘I have something back at my house for you. It’s very ugly and it made me think of you instantly!’

That’s kind of a dickhead thing to say so she got kind of frowny and said, ‘Oh wow, thanks…’ and then I said, ‘Well, it’s an Ugli fruit. I remembered how much you love them, so I got one for you. What’d you think I meant?’

I will do that pretty regularly to women. If I compliment them, or be nice, it’s going to be hidden by an insult or tease. That way when it comes out what I actually meant, it’s that much nicer and sweet to say. Sometimes I’ll say or do something nice and then take it away, or take it back in a teasing way, too.

On Valentine’s day, I snapped the same girl a picture of a chocolate heart. I told her it was for her. She said that was sweet.

I immediately sent her another snap of me unwrapping the heart and promptly popping it into my mouth, ‘Your heart was delicious.’ She responded with, ‘Hey! That’s not nice!’

So I said, ‘Well, it was the easiest way I could think of getting your heart to melt.’

So here’s the point, I’m constantly teasing. It doesn’t matter if I’m nice, it doesn’t matter if I’m a jerk. I constantly switch between the two to make it a chaotic neutral with a girl. Her feelings go up, they go down, and they constantly end up in the middle. That’s all of how I flirt.

Eyes, tone of voice, mischief, sexual/physical comments, teasing.”

15. Actually introduce yourself: Just smile and introduce yourself. Very rarely are you going to come across someone bitchy enough to ignore you or tell you to fuck immediately off. Then the doors open. Just talk. ‘So how do you like this place?’ ‘What are you drinking? That looks good.’ If she’s not interested or says she has a boyfriend, just say, ‘Fair enough, have a great day/evening’ with a smile and move on to the next.

16. Show them pictures of dogs: I show pictures of dogs. It doesn’t work that often but when it does you know she at least gotta be awesome.

17. Smile at them: If they happen to look at me, I smile, then after a second look somewhere else and back to them. When near them, I tend to lean in closer to them, but never cross any common courtesy boundaries. If I’m sure the person I flirt with is at the very least interested in me: If our hands are in close proximity I’ll try to make contact. Not grab their hand, but tap it a little.

18. Use sarcasm: Just don’t think of it as flirting, think of it as genuinely talking to someone but with a bit of tongue-in-cheek humor. Eye contact, smiling, being interested (or pretending to be interested) in what they’re saying, but most importantly: humor. What comes naturally for me is some mix of sarcasm and dark humor. But that’s the key – ‘comes naturally’. You can’t really force any type of humor or else it’s not funny. I might be cheating because I grew up with 2 sisters, so talking to a girl was always natural for me. I feel like the biggest issue most guys make is they think too hard about what to say, rather than just relaxing and letting a conversation happen.

19. Live your best life to impress them: Step one: Care less about whether you’re ‘successful’ or not. I know it’s tough. Fake it. Feel free to widen your audience of who you want to flirt with.

Step two: Be confident. Fake this too. Pretend you’re confident. Eventually you get so good at it, you forget you’re not confident anymore.

Step three: Be interested. Listen. Eye contact. Empathize. Laugh. Don’t try to one up, and don’t try to solve their problems.

Step four: Do something fun in your life so you have something better to talk about than video games and that meme you saw on reddit.

Step 5: Be funny. No puns. Use your observational skills to point out the peculiarities and inconsistencies of life.

Step 6: Say yes when they ask you out.

20. Try to relate to what they are saying: For a gay guy, I usually just ask them where they’re from, ask about work, talk about travel. Then just laugh and try to relate to them. Then you sit close to them, pick a feature about them that you like, and compliment it. Then see how things are going, and either continue to chat or let them go if you think one of you isn’t into it. Sometimes this can be used to tease a bit, and they’ll come back and find you later.

21. Like their social media posts: By liking their Facebook posts.

22. Break the ice as early as possible: If they find you attractive it wont matter. I’m in my late 20s now, I don’t have time to waste. After some small banter back and forth I will just come right out and say, ‘Well your clearly flirting with me’ or something to that effect. Once you break that ice its so much easier.

23. Compliment something subtle about themL Dude… compliment things they’re less likely to hear. If they’re ugly compliment something you can find on their appearance. If they’re pretty steer clear of commenting on his or her attractiveness. Make them laugh and make sure you’re enjoyable to be around. Don’t be afraid to be totally candid, feel free to say how you’re nervous and aren’t used to situations like this but own it.

24. Let yourself relax a little: Eyes are like windows into the heart. Let the person take a deeper look inside. Always be yourself, relaxed as possible. Make eye contact and, if it feels natural, offer a sincere smile that conveys the message: ‘I like being around you and with you.’

25. Establish physical contact: I will talk to him, and try to hang out with him more. I laugh at his jokes and I try to make him laugh as well. And when it’s possible and suitable, I will establish physical contact, like put my hand on his shoulder or on his arm. But yeah, never really work for me cause I ugly af. Make some good friend out of it though, so all in all can’t complain.

26.Just be yourself: When I was 22 and younger? Get drunk ideally and make heavy handed passes at them with occasional success. Now? I be myself and make gentle fun of myself and my surroundings then find out what they their interests are, who they be with, things that make them smile, what numbers to dial.